#does joe look battle-ready

[non-un-topo]

Outfits of the Guard from an older fic of mine, Tangerine and Roc. Supposed to be a bit of a mix of styles from Central Asia in the late 15th century as they go about their travels, with a little battle-ready touch.

[bellewintersroe]

Joe Liebgott x Reader.

two times Joe doesn’t want to come to you, and the one time he does… tw - swearing, talks of war and wounds, ptsd, 1940s terms, some descriptions of war and death but nothing too intense. I keep deleting and rewriting parts but I’m just not so happy with the ending, idk :/

The Crossroads, October 1944. “Joe… go see Nurse Y/l/n once you’ve done this.” Winters told him. “Yes, sir.” Yeah right. The last person who he’d be taking a visit to was Y/n, especially like this- all wound up and wounded. He’d report to nurse Smith instead, the other nurse for 2nd battalion to who he didn’t have such an… attachment towards. You see, it wasn’t that Joe disliked her. It wasn’t that at all. In fact it was more the complete opposite- his bond with Y/n was something he’d never experienced before. To get to the point, he was in love with her. But Joe refusing to be seen as anything other than the alpha male meant he sacrificed one vital human emotion when he was around her. Vulnerability. So instead of doing at Winters ordered, he simply stood a couple meters away from the aid station (it was a brick house they’d taken over) and just stared in contemplation. Joe had seen all the nasty side effects wound infections could cause, plus, he didn’t want to be taken off the line- but dammit he was fine. Just as he made the decision to turn back around, a voice called out. Joe stood, his shoulders tense as he stared up at the ‘aid station’. It was just a stolen brick, house which people once lived in. Now, the wounded took over, bleeding to death inside the walls. He felt himself shudder once at the thought and dammit- he was fine he didn’t need to bother you whilst you were hard at work with some scratch. Joe began to turn around, ready to head back in the other direction when he heard your voice calling out. Perfect timing.

“Joe!” She’d spotted him from a mile off, first from out the window, and secondly when she came to the door to retrieve the lost looking boy. “Joe, what’re you doing?” Her voice was gentle, yet somewhat laced with worry. He internally sighed at his inside melting into goo at the sight of her. He watched the way her brows knotted as she reached up, running her fingers over the bandage and grazing the warmth of his skin.

“What happened?” God she was angelic, Liebgott could’ve easily fallen into her arms if it wasn’t for- “oh my god, what did you do?!” Her concern peaked, pulling on his arm to take a better look.

“M’ fine, it’s nothin’. Winters sent me to Nurse Smith.” He muttered, it was a lie, one he felt horrible about as well. As soon as her brows perked and he watched the breath get caught in her throat, he knew he’d been caught out. “Oh. Nurse Smi- Alice left like an hour ago. Winters orders- so I don’t think… I don’t think he’d send you to her.” For the first time she felt jealousy towards her friend. A lingering pang of pain and sadness, one that she didn’t conceal very well and Liebgott could immediately sense he’d hurt her feelings.

“Um… but I’ll go get one of the guys for you, Spina was free last I checked.” Great. In all his stubbornness, he’d somehow wound up and turned this into backfiring on her. “Y/n/n-”

“No. It’s fine, Liebgott. I’m busy anyway…”

December 1944, Bastogne.

Blowing on her hands, Y/n cupped them together, eyes scanning around the town as she pulled her shoulders up, body rigid with the baltic temperatures of Bastogne. Her boots crunched under the snow with each step, and she was careful to walk around the piles of bodies that lingered the side of the streets. She was a mix between on the lines with second battalion and back in the town, taking care of the hundreds of wounded or mentally disturbed soldiers, haunted by the traumas of the battle. Even leaving the make-do infirmary couldn’t get her away from the horrors of war. Somehow, Y/n preferred being on the lines, at least then she was with familiar faces, ones she trusted and knew. She slowed to a halt when a familiar face stood not too far ahead of her. Her breath became caught before she let out a slight laugh, relieved for the first time in days to see somebody she cared so deeply for.

“Joe.” The relief on her voice was evident, his name was light and airy and lingered in the cold air that surrounded them. Joe’s head turned, heart stolen by the voice. The finger that had been batting against his thigh momentarily stopped, the last person he wanted to see here was her- surrounded by death, bombings. He didn’t even register the warmth he felt at the sight of her. The colour of her eyes were a stark contrast to the white of the snow below, yet they were rimmed with dark circles, red and puffy. You see, Liebgott recognised straight away how far she’d wandered, completely alone, standing no taller than an adolescent. If a Kraut caught her out here- well… Liebgott didn’t even want to think of what potentially may happen.

“What’re you doing out here?” He squinted, shaking his head in utter confusion. He felt angry, pissed off that such a fragile thing could be caught in the crossfire out here. He was already riled up, being moved to CP runner which had still yet to ease his stress. Her smile faded, and she momentarily just watched back up to him, feeling as though her relief wasn’t mutual. Liebgott looked tired, pale, just a shell of his previous self. “Well I’m stationed in the town today.” Y/n’s voice quietened noticing the strange way Joe looked at her. Usually she’d be met with smiles, hugs, relieved greetings on his behalf. He’d grin and call her sweetheart or doll- something she selfishly wanted to hear in that moment. “In the town, so what the hell are ya’ doin’ out here?” Usually Joe wouldn’t be this… harsh. Not with anybody, especially not to Y/n. “I just came for a walk.” She recognised how stupid that sounded as soon as she spoke. You don’t just go for a walk in the middle of war. But she wasn’t being silly, she didn’t even realise how far she’d trekked out.

“Well, why’re you out here?” She quickly chimed, preventing Liebgott from inevitably telling her off. He’d been extremely on edge recently, more so than the other men out here.

“Go back to town, Y/n.” Joe sighed, blowing out smoke from his cigarette. She winced at the harshness of his words, looking at the red band on his arm. CP runner. “Winters sent you back here?” She tried again. He finally looked at her, chewing on the inside of his lips.

“Yeah.” He finally responded, glancing around for any danger. “I gotta get this back to battalion.” He half-arsed lifted up a letter. Her eyes followed it, before falling back down to the snow below her. She gasped slightly, feeling something beneath her shoe, quickly recognising it to just be nothing more than a rock. Liebgott watched in concern, hearing a snapping sound from the right of him. It was instantaneous, he grabbed hold of her coat, keeping her behind him with gun held up in the other.

“Relax.” Out walked a guy from D-company. He’d obviously just been taking a shit or something in the woods- but he’d almost wound up shot.

“Dammit.” Liebgott dropped his gun, teeth clenched as the man disappeared back around the corner, towards the time. He could handle the idea of himself being hurt, but not her. It was too risky out here- he was angry at her for even being out here in the first place.

“Go back to the town would ya?” He snapped, voice raised as she stared back to him wide eyes. “Joe-” “No! Just get outta here! What’re you stupid for walking here in the first place?” Her mouth fell agape, breaking all eye contact and feeling her head begin to shake in complete disbelief. “No? Yes? Just leave!” Joe was completely unrecognisable, deep down she knew he was somewhat telling the truth- but he was so mean, the tears pricked way too fast in her eyes.

“We lost 10 guys in the last hour.” As soon as her voice wobbled she gulped the sensation away. “So forgive me for being happy to see you.” His blood ran cold, the minute she turned around Joe held his head in his hands, groaning. What a weird way to tell a girl you love her? Right…

May 1945, Austria.

Joe minded his business as he strolled through the streets of Austria. He’d just finished a gruelling course in preparation to be shipped out to the pacific. Despite the calmness that was here, most men were still on edge about the continuation of the war. Like most things, Joe just grumbled about it a couple times and got on with it. If they wanted him to fight the Japanese, he’d be just as brutal as them, there’s no way Easy would go through all that shit in Europe just to be sent out to the shitty- “Woah!” Joe dramatically spoke, stumbling over something as he completely didn’t watch where he was going. He heard somebody gasp from below him, a light voice, one belonging to a woman.

“Ow.” No other than Y/n sat there, perched on a rock as she looked out to the serene views ahead of her. She grasped at her ankle, wincing at the pain of where the soldier had practically stood on here. When Joe spun around, he felt his breath get caught in his throat seeing who it was.

“Y/n!” He panted out, recognising the tear stains down your cheeks. Oh fuck, he was just a klutz! Now he’d made you cry- potentially not for the first time either. “Shit, I’m sorry sweetheart, did I hurt you bad? Fuck, I’m sorry.” Crouching down, he placed a hand on her shoulder, constantly glancing between her face and ankle. What Joe didn’t realise at first was that her tear stains were old. Her eyes were slightly puffy from crying and he’d interrupted something. “No. It’s okay, you just scared me.” She pulled her leg back with a wince. “No, don’t be silly, here let me see.” Joe let out a sad kinda laugh, she smiled only a little, allowing him to outstretch her leg again. It had been months since the two were close, they’d grown apart in the war, Joe’s lack of ability to show vulnerability had pushed her further and further away until they were no more than old acquaintances. “I’ll be fine, Joe.” She let out a chuckle, amused by her own ability to get caught up in something unlucky. She figured she’d be alone out here, now here Liebgott was trying to massage her ankle.

“Are you sure? You- you don’t look it…” his voice lowered, watching through his eyelashes. She forced another half smile before her head dropped, “it’s okay, Joe.” He sensed she was doing the exact same thing he did to her all those months ago. “Hey, no. C’mere.” Moving around, he perched besides her on the rock, unable to help himself from wrapping an arm around her in comfort.

“You good? Did I hurt your ankle that bad, kid, or have I just interrupted somethin’?” She let out a sad laugh again at his words, wiping under her eyes. “I’m just… I’m just scared for the pacific.” Her chest felt lighter when she spoke those words. With the twig she had in her hand, she continued poking at the mud below, averting Liebgott’s gaze which cascaded over her face. For a moment he was stumped, his heart was beating at a furious speed and oh god- he was fuckin’ nervous. Not the time to be nervous when she was crying in his arms. He opened his mouth to speak, but swallowed them away before letting out a sigh, looking across the beautiful lake ahead of them.

“I don’t wanna do it anymore, y’know. And they’re… brutal over there.” She spoke up once more, fingers writhing together as she finally glanced up to him. When he did look back he felt his heart shatter to meet her glassy eyes.

“I know.” Was all he could manage at first, watching over her face as she waited for his response. “If anything’s good practice it’s being on the front lines though, right?” He attempted as she felt a breath of laughter leave her throat at his comment. Joe’s face turned slightly, visibly cringing at his response.

“Ah, shit Y/n/n, but seriously, we’re all gonna be there together, y’know. You’ve gotta whole company willingly to die before they let anything happen to ya’.” He squeezed her reassuringly to which she sadly laughed again, assuming he was being lighthearted.

“No, I’m serious. Look, kid, I know if it’s between me and you- I’m jumpin’ in front of ya.” He admitted without even thinking, this time it was her gaze on him. “I’d do the same for you.” Joe froze, not expecting the mutual terms of their speech. Something had softened inside of him, that fluttering in his stomach had returned in full force- it never really left, just dulled from the years of war and pushing her away. She felt her breath become heavy, blinking over his handsome face.

“Well, that’s if you’d actually want me around you.” She pathetically attempted to joke, wiping under her eyes to prevent her mascara from running any further. “What?” Joe’s head snapped up, meeting her gaze. “Hey, I always want ya’ around me, don’t be silly.” He spoke again, hand cautiously landing on her knee. “No but… I thought you didn’t like me.” The words caused something inside Joe’s chest to pang and twinge sharply. “Course I like ya.” The words fell more serious than be intended. “I wanna be around you all the time.” Y/n swooned at his words, still painfully head over heels for him all these years later. Her hand slipped into his, feeling his larger fingers squeeze a little around hers. “You didn’t seem like that before…”

“Ah, I was just being a dick.” He shrugged. “Sorry.” He glanced down to his lap momentarily. “I don’t hold it against you. I just- I just thought you never felt the same.” Her jaw tensed, head feeling hot at her sudden admission of feelings. Joe felt the corners of his lips tug teasingly.

“You wanna hang out with me later? Like just us two.” Finally, he saw a smile reach up to her eyes. It was a genuine kind, one that he didn’t think he’d actually seen in a real long time.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Turning down, she wiped under her eyes once more, past worries seemingly forgotten about. She let out a giggle as he watched her with nothing short than pure delight. “I can’t believe I cried.” “I’ve seen a whole lot worse doll, don’t worry about it…. Haven’t you got enough points to leave anyway?”

“No. It doesn’t work like that for us nurses.”

“Ah crap… suppose you’re stuck with me for another three years then.” “Lucky me.” She teased, sarcastically digging her arm into his side as he nudged her back with a knowing smile. “Lucky me more like.”

“Yeah after finally making a move 3 years later.”

“Maybe I oughta’ have run straight past you, now you’re just getting bold.” He joked. “Or maybe you could’ve done that anyway, without breaking my ankle.”

[malarkgirlypop]

What the Easy men are ticketed for when driving

Richard Winters:

He has all of his paperwork at the ready the police officer doesn’t even have to ask. He’s very apologetic, but he didn’t do anything wrong. Dick politely chats with the officer, he’s not intimidated by the man but he’s being cautious. When the officer says he made a mistake and lets him go, Dick is very understanding. They even exchange information, talk about meeting up. You feel like a third wheel for a hot sec. He has never had a ticket.

Lewis Nixon:

IM NOT DRUNK!!!! I CAN DANCE, I’LL PROVE IT!!! 'Darling stay in the car', proceeds to fall out of the car while trying to exit. The cop and you exchange a glance. You follow the cop car to the station, you can see Nixon’s little head in the back window. He was indeed drunk. Yeah you should've seen it coming he had to blow into a breathalyser before starting the car, turns out that's why you were there.

Harry Welsh:

Nervous around the cop, tries to make small talk but the guy isn’t having it. You sit there in awkward silence as the cops leaves to fill out the paperwork. Harry got pulled over cause he was trying to show you a trick, but the trick was swerving back and forward across the lanes and wasn’t very impressive. Sheepishly takes the fine, with a mumbled apology.

Ronald Speirs:

Asserts dominance over the cop, uses his killer stare. The cop is jumpy under his cold glare. He’s not smug about it, stating facts about the law making the cop look dumb. The officer can tell he’s fighting a losing battle so tries to rescind the fine. Ron is very happy about this reaching out if the window to give the cop a pat on his arm. "It’s ok, people make mistakes". Leaves the police man in the dust before the interaction is truly over. He was speeding, but it was fine, he had somewhere important to be.

Carwood Lipton:

I feel like he would be the same as Winters. Very calm and collected, hearing out the officer. Obviously it's our baby boy and he hasn't done anything wrong. Even if the cop was a total dick, Lip would be so polite and understanding. I think it would piss off the cop that he wasn't talking back, giving a "Have a good night officer", as the cop marches away muttering under his breath. I'm sure he would turn to you saying, "shall we?" before pulling away from the curb. He did nothing wrong, Lip getting fined. Ha! You wish.

George Luz:

Thinks he is a stand up comedian and can get out of the ticket by telling jokes. Unfortunately for Luz he gets the most grumpy, stoic officer of all time. George crashes and burns with each quip and pun, you sink lower in your seat hoping the ground will swallow you whole, (we all know second hand embarrassment is the silent killer). Finally he receives the ticket and you sit in silence while he re-thinks his entire life. Before making the most ridiculous remark sending everyone into hysterics. He is very proud of himself, "I knew I still got it. He was just a bad crowd." Very pleased with himself he doesn't even care he got a ticket. What was the ticket you ask. Trying to stand and drive. Yeah this isn't his first time either, yikes George.

Joe Toye:

Yeah no this man never gets pulled over. Even if he does, he will evade the police. His brag is that he has never been ticketed. Well, they have never been able to catch him to give it to him. He will never tell you what he does to be chased by the police, the mystery of it all. Bill says its cause he's a shit driver.

Bill Guarnere:

Knows everyone, so when he is pulled over all you get is, "Wild Bill you mad dog, I haven't seen you in years!" Buddies with the whole police force, gets let off the hook way too often. Has broken all the laws, but hey when you know everyone, what really are laws?

Joe Liebgott:

You all might think he's a bad boy rebel with the most tickets out of the lot. But you forget, hes a tried and true cabby. Like Bill he knows everyone, all you have to do is utter his name and you can get a million stories about the man. His brag is that he has never been ticketed, sure he's broken the law, but he never gets caught. Unlike some people *cough cough* Toye. But hey Toye hasn't actually been caught, just been in multiple car chases.

David Webster:

He's offended you think he drives. Clearly passenger seat princess, put some respect on his name. Has been fined for not wearing a seatbelt and standing up through the sun roof singing Unwritten, but that's just a vibe and he has the ticket framed on his wall.

Buck Compton:

The self proclaimed 'best driver of the group'. He's daddy and drives around his baby boy's. He's like the dad that picks you up from Saturday sport, 'who wants to stop at McDonalds?' His car is the vibe, everyone always fights over who rides with him on road trips. Has the best songs and snacks for the road trips, he laughs in the face of tickets, this man is untouchable and has a squeaky clean record. May have tried to do a donut, but he'll never tell.

Eugene Roe:

Pfft, this man getting pulled over. You're dreaming. The most calm driver. He's like my nana, anyone heard of the story the tortoise and the hare, yeah well he's the tortoise. No one wants to drive with him if they need to be somewhere in a hurry, he's too nice and gives way to everyone. This man panics when the police pass him, even when he's doing nothing wrong.

Babe Heffron:

If Gene is the tortoise, then Babe is definitely the hare. Hold on for dear life if you ride with this man. The most chaotic driving of all time. Over taking, under taking, side by side taking? Yeah he does it all. You see orange light, he sees pedal to the metal. Speed limits are just suggestions to this man. The amount of fines and tickets this man gets in a year he could buy a whole other car.

Donald Malarkey:

He's a good driver, but boy oh boy he's easily distracted. If you're sitting in the back showing photos to the rest of the boys, he's turning around fully in the seat to see what's going on. The most common phrase in his car is, "Don watch the road!" He's a fun driver having the best songs and also has karaoke mics in the car that he hands back, but please encourage him to keep both hands on the wheel and both eyes on the road. The ads the are on the side of the road are catered just for him, he can't help himself when he sees something flashy. Has rear ended a car or two, maybe one of them was a police officer, but no one was there to see it.

Skip and Penk:

They don't drive. Skip is clearly a passenger princess and Alex is a backseat babe! Just tell them to please keep all limbs inside the car. Should not be allowed in Malarks car as they are the reason for his distraction but the love it, you will have to pry them out of the car they aren't splitting up!!

[survivalist-anon]

Log 28: All Hell Breaks Loose: part 1

Pinky and Bilhard we're still heading it on hard at each other. However unbeknownst to the two fighters, there had been a change of plans.

El Nino was silently furious, he wanted the chance to fight Bilhard at his best and fittest to truly measure if it was worth Señor Mateo's purchase. Instead, Sleen put a wrench in his personal plans, "I will get that miniature junk yard...". He quickly snuck back stage, towards where Señor Mateo had been seated with the rest of the more sorted patrons.

He stomps his way through the room, but gently head towards Mateo, "That bastardo gordo had El Toro fight that slimy l-", Mateo had causally turned his head to his Astartes.

"I believe we have much more bigger problems amigo.", he points to the arena, within the five minutes it took El Nino to head up to seats, EVERYTHING was going to shit. "But, it is, how do they say? 'Good for Business?'...", he glances at the patrons who were not SCRAMBLING to get their earnings before any more sudden changes, all cursing Sleen as they argue amongst themselves.

Mr.Green, was happily smoking in the corner with Miss.Blu and Miss.Yellow. "Oi, zounds like, Sleen's ina scrap, aight e?", he grinned mischievously.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"COME ON BIG BOY! Is that all you G-", just as soon as Pinky was about to finish, a platform lifted his leg up throwing him off balance again, it was a separate miniature fighting pit. Likely for multiple fights at once.

Thinking fast, and seizing a chance to even the odds, Cahrilo enters the ring with Bilhard with a makeshift shield and morningstar. Toke, Sten and Joe head straight to the Chaos marine side to find a means of escaping.

The Chaos marines had other ideas.

"Hey! This wasn't part of the program!", a word bearer growled enthusiasticly. "SsssUCH excitement!". His teeth chattered.

"Perhaps we must make our escape! We can have our way with the mortals later!", a Black Legion Marine growled.

Just as soon as they were able to make a quick getaway, Sten and the others head towards the Chaos marines confronting them.

A black Legionare makes the first move roaring, lifting his claws up to strike Joe.

Joe, armed with a javelin, he makes a quick strike to the chaos marine's neck, spilling and spraying his blackened blood all over the place. Toke taking up a makeshift spear, rammed it through an open maw on his chest, erupting a gnarled spear head from the marine's back.

At first, the chaos chuckled, than.... sensations he had never once felt in his whole life....had begun to occur. First, he felt a surprising amount of burning pain, more so than he usually felt. Suddenly, where the javelin had pierced his neck, the blood was not stopping like it usually does. Looking down, he saw the open maw on his chest, it hurt looking at it. His hearts began to beat slower and slower, one heart had stopped...the other was slowly ready to cease.

Roaring in pain, something very strange was happening, he wasn't healing like he usually does.... something was off. "BROTHERS! HELP *cough cough* Meee...", he went down faster than expected, landing with a heavy thud.

Both groups stared at each other, the chaos marines had suddenly came to a rather upsetting realization.

They have been winning against other Astartes for so long because Sleen had handicapped most of them prior to every fight, they had no armor, physically exhausted them to make the fight easy and worst of all.....

None of them were going to get help from their respective chaos gods....they were stranded on a planet they all hadn't ever been on....a planet the chaos gods somehow could not reach.

The others however, found their luck to be equally surprising....but not enough to spare them. "GET 'EM LADS!" Toke shouted.

The battle was on, and the odds were finally even.

~~~~~~~~~

El Nino and Mateo were watching the chaos.

Sten and his team were holding the line, cutting down each chaos marine one by one, Bilhard and Cahrilo were putting up a fantastic fight with Pinky. Who was simply enjoying himself.

Growling furiously, El Nino looked to Mateo. "I must go down there! No one breaks my rules!", just as he was about to jump right through glass balcony, Mateo had gently placed his hand on his forearm.

"No amigo, go down there with grace. Let the audience believe that this is part of the show for now....if there is any problem....we shall evacuate everyone safety...the assets will have to be reclaimed some other time...", he smiled gently.

El Nino couldn't argue with his old friend, he clearly knew he was right. Grounding his fury to clarity. "Than, I shall go there....and fight them myself....".

"Leave Sleen to me....he will learn to go with the program," Mateo looked to his other hired guns to quickly find Sleen. Likely to kill him.

Leaving the room in a calm huff, El Nino than spots something passing by swiftly in his peripheral. It was the ever familiar shadowy blur of someone's armor.

"hmmm........", he changes tactics and follows into the direction of the blur, taking light but sturdy steps.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roughly a floor above, Moors and Gus where putting up their own fight. Bashing guards left and right, while Gus goes on having some target practice.

"HAHAHAHA! JEUST LIKE 'NAM, RIGHT MOORS?!", Gus cackled as he was having the time of his life.

"Haha! It is! This is more fun because now I don't have to hold back!", lifting a guard up and tossing him on to a small group.

Suddenly, mechanical steps begin to thunder close by.

"What the?" Moors turns around and sees what looks like a prototype Dreadnought armor... but modified to fit a human operator. The false-armored menace chargers to Moors, almost overpowering him.

The two giants duke it out. Gus takes a pistol and trys to pinpoint a weak spot. "Ha! Right there!", he sneers aiming to a fuel cord in the left arm side feeding into the armor. A direct hit servers the fuel cord, weakening the arm.

Moors lands a direct hit and topples his opponent. "How did they get this model's blueprints?!", Moors exclaimed. He looked down at the now frightened operator, scrambling to get out of the machine.

"Well, musta been some other one of your kind Moors!", reloading his pistol. He feels the unfortunately familiar vibrations of one of his sensors. He takes the little phone like device out of his pocket. "GADZOOKS! MOORS this rescue mission better get goin! They're commin in hot!"

What Gus was referring to....was the Security Containment Procedure Foundation...who had just pinpointed their location. If they do no get out of there on time, all of the Astartes will be in trouble.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wick, gently holding on to Selene, was attempting to find a way out of the underground facility as fast as he could. If he could not simply fly away with her, he could be at least able to find her a way to escape. "Oh mon amour, please forgive me I should have been here sooner.", his remorse for not being more diligent with his rescue was burning him with shame.

Selene, who although bruised, hurt but not broken, was just happy to be out of harms way for now, "mon corbeau, all that matters is you came back for me. Mon amour." She hugged his ceramite chest plate to the best of her abilities.

"What will matter to me more is that I can see you safely out of here to live another day.", he reciprocated by laying his helmet gently as he could on the top of her head. As he looked around for an exit, a vox intercom was coming in, "Moors, what's wrong?".

The crackling of the vox transmission sputtered, "You better find your better half and the others soon, Gus says we only have a few minutes. Maybe less."

"I'll be right there, I just need to get to the garage.", he turned the transmission off. "Selene, you must get out of here, I will find you when all this is done....". He remorsefully coos to her. He looks around for where the valets kept the keys, scoping out several fobs, he picks them all up.

The look of soft worry emanated from her, "But Mon amour, you are coming with me aren't you? We can both escape, have a life together....".

As the both of them find their way to a garage, full of the rich patron's cars, Wick finds one of the speedier sports cars. Looking at it closely, he was just lucky enough to have picked up the right fob. Testing the car, "This should be fast enough.... Selene. You must head back to the Casino, find one of our own, I've contacted them with everything ready to arrive at the airport. He has your documentation. You will be able to find a contact on your way back home.". He placed her down next to car. It was breaking both of his hearts knowing he will have to leave her again.

"But Wick, you just came back a-and what if I-", she felt Wick's hand come closer to hers. She knew he wasn't sure if this was the end. Tears finally rolled down in full strength, she hugged him furiously. "Please.... please come with me...I can't bare to leave without you.".

Unlocking his helmet, he took it off to be able to see her unimpeded. He gently hugged her back, he desperately wished he could. "I will....I just need you to be safe.".

Hiding behind the corner of the door witnessing the scene, El Nino had finally understood what his intruder had come for. "....so....the nina's pajarito.....is a little more than her 'steer'.....hmmm....", he was more than obliged to let her escape now. After all, it was clear she had someone who cared about her deeply...even if by Alejandro's perspective was merely a cold blooded assassin of the corpse emperor. "To hell with Sleen's payment....", he grumbled to himself, killing the girl's Astartes was not worth his time anymore.

Suddenly, the clanking and whirling of mechanical parts broke the silence. "SsssSSSeeeeeeellleeeeeennneee......", the familiar croaking of Sleen emanated from the darkness of the garage. The coughing had not only gotten worse, but something about the way his voice sounded artificial.

Wick quickly pulled out his bolter, pointing at Sleen, "I finally get to use this on your ugly mug...", he growled.

A red light dimly glowed a few cars away. It was taller than Sleen, but something terrible had evolved. "Y-you think you can j-j-j-j-ust walk out o-o-o-o-10110001-on me?". The loud stomp of Sleen's once mechanical leg not had somehow grown more elaborate. What was supposed to be a simple body brace, had become somewhat of a mechanical exoskeleton, not too dissimilar to what Wick had seen when working with members....of the mechanicus adeptus. The telltale signs of corruption were strong. Sleen....was barely the middle aged, sleezehead that Wick had met in Los Vegas...but was now...a much bigger threat...driven by greed and vendetta.

He quickly opened the car door, "get in and hit the gas the second I close the door.", he whispers to Selene.

Looking up at Sleen, she shutters in horror. "Wick, W-what is that?".

"HehehehehHAHAHAHAHA!!!", as Sleen creeps out from the shadows. "You don't recognize m-m--m101010-me? Sweethe-", suddenly, a whole other sportscar flies at Sleen just as he was about to finish his sentence.

Wick and Selene look back to see what the actual fuck just happened.

"DRIVE NINA! THAT AIN'T GOING TO HOLD HIM FOR TOO LONG! YOU PAJARITO, SHOOT HIM WHILE HE'S DOWN FOOL!", El Nino had thrown the vehicle to give Selene a heads start.

Selene gets in the car, "Mon amour, please find me!", as she says this, Wick gives her a final kiss. Their tears synchronize their decents.

"Be safe, mon amour.", Wick let go, looking into her eyes.

Starting the car and revving the engine, the car roared, wheels ready to run.

"NOT SO FAST YOU LITTLE-", Sleen had gotten up and recovered, declawing down at the trunk of the car. Holding Selene in place.

Caught off guard she screamed, Wick took out his bolter to shoot Sleen near his shoulder and head, although the shots landed, the metal didn't seem to even leave a scratch.

"Time for a bull's eye than.", aiming to what flesh was left on Sleen's face, the bolt went off but was parried by his metal claw.

"YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT ME BIRD BOY! I'LL FUCKING COOK YOUR GOOSE!" turning to Selene, his not long wired tongue slathers the side of his face like a gecko, "and STUFF hers.", his sickening laugh echoed.

Loading more shots, Wick unloaded more blots.

El Nino shouted, "TU PENDEJO! You'll shoot the car! Hit the belly!", turns out El Nino's observation was correct.

Sleen electrically roars, raising his claw to strike down El Nino. He slams his arm down but El Nino blocks his furious blow, the one gift from Khorn that had not left him, he super strength.

Wick looks down at Sleen's stomach, as it turns out, his stomach had become distended with an inflamed infection from the foreign metal attempting to hastily fuse to his flesh. Leaving exposed just enough for a well placed shot.

Aiming his bolter, he pulls the trigger, only for an extra mechanical arm to parry the shot.

Out of bolts, Wick resorts to his combat knife, "making things hard for everyone as always....".

End of part 1

@kit-williams @barn-anon @egrets-not-regrets @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @walking-natural-disaster @starfrost740 @squishyowl @sleepyfan-blog @lawnchair86

[bullet-prooflove]

Past Mistakes Part Ninteen: Mike & Nora - Mike Duarte x Reader

Tagging: @crazy4chickennuggets @kmc1989 @oureternalbond @nessamc @jayblackpanther @mysoulisasunflower @resonmalvo @littleone65 @thesandbeneathmytoes @katluke25 @mydarkestsecretlol @evee87 @wooshwastaken @hearthockey @justreblogginfics @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @rosaliedepp @storiesofsvu @whateversomethingbruh @burningpeachpuppy @smellsliketeensspiryt @legit9thlunaticwarrior @xoxabs88xox @kiwiithecrazybird @spooky-pomegranate @chavez-ashley @telepathay @weiwei0210 @spaghettificationandpretzels @plaidbooks @irishavengersassemble

Past Mistakes Series:

Part One: Try - Mike turns back up in your life after three years apart.

Part Two: Hope (NSFW) - Mike and you get reaquainted.

Part Three: California - Mike and you discuss the past.

Part Four: Favours - Mike asks Liv for a favour.

Part Five: Choices - Mike comes face to face with someone from his past.

Part Six: Truth Hurts - Mike begs you to tell him the truth about what happened three years ago.

Part Seven: Sharing - Mike and Joe have a conversation.

Part Eight: Buried - Mike discovers that McGrath’s misdeeds go far futher than he thought.

Part Nine: Complicated - Mike discusses moving forward.

Part 10: Feral - Mike returns to the apartment to find you’ve disappeared.

Part Eleven: Torture - You wake up in the basement.

Part Twelve: Fire - You and Joe discuss moving forward.

Part Thirteen: Lost Time - You and Mike get real on his porch.

Part Fourteen: Plan B - Mike always has a plan B.

Part Fifteen: Proud - Mike tells you how proud he is of what you’re doing.

Part Sixteen: Mattituck (NSFW) - You show Mike how much you love him.

Part Seventeen: Seven - Joe makes a discovery.

Part Eighteen: Patterns - Benson and Murphy discover the reality of McGrath’s misdeeds.

Over the course of the investigation Joe learns the story of you and Mike, not the shit he’s read in the reports but the essence of it. It’s through the interviews with the people in your lives back then that he discovers the truth of it.  He hears about the softer side of Duarte, the man behind the legend that dogs his steps.

Currently he sits in the kitchen of your old neighbour Mrs Evanisto, she’s still spry at almost seventy. She moves around her kitchen faster than Muncy does at SVU and that’s saying something. You’d lived alongside the older women for five years before you’d gone undercover. When she sits down at the table she sets a large French Press down in front of Joe along with two mugs. She talks about you fondly, she doesn’t have any family left and had viewed you as a surrogate daughter.

You were always checking in, sharing meals, she’d taught you how to bake Pineapple Upside Down Cake when Mike first introduced you to his family. She discusses Duarte in similar manner, he was always fixing things around her place because the landlord was a little slow. He’d been a massive help when she’s broken her hip, picking up her groceries on the way home, cooking for her.

“The way he looked at her, it was like she hung the moon and the stars.” Mrs Evanisto tells Joe before adding the milkto his coffee. “He showed me the ring before he proposed, it was beautiful but he was a little sad. He’d wanted to do it with his mother’s ring, but his father had gambled it away after she died. That man, he had a lot to answer for. I’m surprised Mike came out so well adjusted.”

Joe finds this insight fascinating, to him Duarte is impenetrable. An enigma that walked onto his crime scene one day, hardened and ready for battle. Seeing the way he interacted with you, hearing about the man behind the brash Captain was changing his perspective. He thinks it's your disapperance that turned him cold, all the love was stripped from his world so he adapted.

“He was so happy when she said yes. The three of us had a toast right here with a bottle of champagne he bought.” She pauses to take a sip of her coffee. “They were planning to get married in the spring after she passed the Sergent’s exam, something small and low key. They asked me to be a witness.”

The information tracks. By that time you would have been able to transfer out of Duarte’s unit and take up a new position, start fresh and get your happy ever after. Only it didn’t happen like that.

“Do you remember anything strange happening before she left?” Joe asks, his pen tapping on the surface of his notebook. “I know it was a long time ago…”

Mrs Evanisto sighs as she wraps her hands around the mug.

“I remember Mike wasn’t around as much, she told me he was away on assignment. I could tell she was worried about him; she spent a lot of her time here studying. I think she didn’t like coming home to an empty apartment. The two of them were practically living together.”

She pauses before picking up the French press and refilling their mugs.

“There was this one night, it must have been a couple of days before she left. She was heading to a charity event. I remember because I did her hair, I used to run a salon back in the day and we were trailing out something for the wedding. She was excited she wanted to bid on this weekend away in Napa, surprise Mike when he got back. I waited up for her, I wanted to see if she won but she never came home.”

Her dark eyebrows furrow as she takes a sip from her coffee cup.

“About three in the morning, there was someone pounding on her door, he was wearing a tuxedo. He was drunk, yelling at her to open up. I opened my door, told him to go away, said that her boyfriend was a Lieutenant in the NYPD so he better not bother her again. He went quiet after that, really quiet and then he just left.”

Joe considers that for a moment because Mrs Evanisto has just given him a puzzle piece that’s been missing for him. How McGrath knew about you and Mike, that there was a relationship to leverage, why his punishment was so severe. You had chosen another man over him and McGrath couldn’t stand that, he hated the idea that anyone else got to have you, so he buried you.

“Would you recognise this man if you saw him again?” Joe asks Mrs Evanisto, raising the coffee cup to his lips.

“Of course, he’s on the news every time any of you solve a case.” She huffs before gesturing towards Joe’s notepad. “His name’s McGrath.”

Love Mike Duarte? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Want more Mike? Check out his Masterlist here!

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[justinspoliticalcorner]

Matt Dixon and Allan Smith at NBC News:

Get ready for Donald Trump’s blue state extravaganza.  With less than four weeks until Election Day, Trump is scheduled to hold rallies in staunchly Democratic states he has virtually no chance of winning. It’s an unorthodox strategy campaign advisers say is designed to focus on areas where Democratic policies have failed, but it will also keep him away from the small handful of swing states almost certain to determine the election.

Over the next month, the former president has events scheduled in Colorado, California, Illinois and New York. President Joe Biden won those states by an average of 20 points in 2020, with his 13-point Colorado win the closest margin. Colorado is the only one of those states to vote for a Republican nominee for president this millennium, backing George W. Bush in 2004. While each event will be held in slightly different venues, the most notable will be later this month in Madison Square Garden, a place where Trump has long said he wanted to hold political rally. “Choosing high-impact settings makes it so the media can’t look away and refuse to cover the issues and the solutions President Trump is offering,” said a senior Trump campaign adviser of the strategy behind late-election cycle events in Democratic states. “We live in a nationalized media environment and the national media’s attention on these large-scale, outside-the-norm settings increases the reach of his message across the country and penetrates in every battle ground state.”

“President Trump is closing the campaign highlighting the problems the country faces as a result of Harris and Biden’s failed leadership and articulating his solutions to solve the problems they created,” the adviser added. The decision to deviate from a traditional campaign playbook comes at a time when the race is almost certain to be decided in places like Georgia, Pennsylvania, Nevada, North Carolina, Wisconsin and Michigan, places that are within the margin of error in most public polling and considered winnable for both Trump and Vice President Kamala Harris. “This does not seem like a campaign putting their candidate in critical vote rich or swing vote locations — it seems more like a candidate who wants his campaign to put on rallies for optics and vibes,” longtime Republican operative Matthew Bartlett said. 

He called Trump the “most unorthodox candidate in modern history,” which means the off-script strategy could have some value. “In 2016, Trump realigned the party to be much more rural and working class, now in 2024 he is trying to expand his voting base along certain cultural lines that may eat away at traditional Democratic voting blocs,” Bartlett said. A second Trump adviser said that no matter where Trump holds rallies, he gets huge online viewership, including in swing states, and there is a confidence within the campaign about their chances, which in their estimation allows for some risk. “Certainly we are bullish on our prospects writ large,” the adviser said. Some Trump supporters argued that going into areas of the country traditionally not visited by Republican presidential candidates could have a sort-of coattail effect, helping boost down-ballot Republicans in tough races. None of the states where Trump is visiting has a competitive Senate race, but there are a handful of competitive House races in a year where the majority of that chamber will likely be decided on a razor-thin margin.

In California, House District 40 is represented by Republican Young Kim, and House District 41 is represented by Republican Ken Calvert, both of whom are in contested races in the Los Angeles media market along with Coachella, which is where Trump will be holding his rally. In New York, Rep. Mike D’Esposito won Nassau County’s 4th district in 2022, but it is a seat that leans Democratic and was won by Joe Biden by 15 points in 2020. Flipping the seat played a big role in helping Republicans take the House majority in 2022. “The fact that we can pickup down ballot seats with President Trump’s aggressive travel plan is a testament to the well orchestrated and  effective campaign plan that focuses on unifying all Americans,” said Ed McMullen, a Trump donor who served as ambassador to Switzerland during the Trump administration.  “It is a well-planned effort to reach out and win key seats,” he added.

Donald Trump will be holding indoctrination rallies in 4 solidly Blue states in the run-up to the general election. This is wasting money big time.

[themovieblogonline]

Borderlands: When Chaos Meets the Big Screen

The "Borderlands" movie is finally here, and it's bringing all the chaos, humor, and wild antics that fans of the video game series have been craving. Directed by Eli Roth and featuring an ensemble cast that reads like a Hollywood A-list party invitation, this film is set to redefine what it means to adapt a video game for the big screen. But with so much anticipation, does "Borderlands" live up to the hype, or is it just another flashy, explosive disappointment? A Star-Studded Cast Ready to Unleash Chaos Let's start with the cast because, let's be real, that's what most people are here for. Cate Blanchett as Lilith? Yes, please. Kevin Hart as Roland? You better believe it. Jack Black as Claptrap? Keep going. And with Jamie Lee Curtis, Edgar Ramírez, and the always-charismatic Gina Gershon joining the crew, "Borderlands" is stacked with talent. At a recent fan event in Los Angeles, the stars took to the red carpet at the TCL Chinese Theatre, and it was a spectacle. Between the cosplayers, the Hart House food truck, and Moxxi's Bar activation, it felt more like a "Borderlands" theme park than a movie premiere. And let's not forget the dunk tank crewed by masked bandits—because what’s a "Borderlands" event without a little bit of madness? Eli Roth’s Vision: More Than Just Explosions Eli Roth, known for his work in the horror genre, might seem like an odd choice to helm a movie based on a game that's as much about humor as it is about action. But Roth's knack for dark, twisted narratives is a perfect fit for the chaotic world of Pandora. The screenplay, co-written by Roth and Joe Crombie, strikes a balance between the absurdity of the game's universe and the character-driven storytelling needed for a film adaptation. The plot follows Lilith, an infamous bounty hunter, as she returns to her home planet of Pandora. Her mission? To find the missing daughter of the universe’s most powerful man, Atlas, played by Edgar Ramírez. Along the way, she teams up with a ragtag group of misfits, including Roland, Tiny Tina, Krieg, Tannis, and the wisecracking robot Claptrap. Together, they must battle bandits, alien species, and uncover one of Pandora’s most explosive secrets. The Fan Experience: More Than Just a Movie What sets "Borderlands" apart from other video game adaptations is its fan-centric approach. The Los Angeles event was more than just a screening—it was an experience. Fans got to immerse themselves in the "Borderlands" universe, complete with cosplayers, interactive experiences, and, of course, a chance to meet the stars. This is exactly the kind of engagement that makes the "Borderlands" community so passionate and loyal. Will "Borderlands" Break the Video Game Movie Curse? Video game adaptations have a notorious track record in Hollywood. For every "Sonic the Hedgehog," or "Super Mario Bros.", there's a DOOM that makes you question why they even tried. So where does "Borderlands" fall on that spectrum? Based on early reactions, it seems like Roth and his team have managed to capture the essence of what makes the game series so beloved. The humor is sharp, the action is intense, and the characters are larger-than-life—just as they should be. But will it resonate with those who aren’t familiar with the games? That remains to be seen. What’s clear is that "Borderlands" isn’t trying to be just another video game movie; it’s aiming to be the video game movie. Final Thoughts: A Wild Ride Worth Taking In the end, "Borderlands" is shaping up to be a wild, action-packed ride that stays true to its source material while offering something fresh for newcomers. Whether you're a die-hard fan of the games or just someone looking for a fun, explosive time at the movies, this film promises to deliver. As we eagerly await the official release, one thing is certain: "Borderlands" is set to bring the chaos, the laughs, and the insanity that only a trip to Pandora can provide. So buckle up, grab your popcorn, and get ready to enter a world where the rules don’t apply, and the only thing you can expect is the unexpected. Read the full article

[eriquin]

The Prophetic D&D Game, Part 21

Hellfire Club sets up for their battle against the big bad.

(master post)

The game was not going great. At least, it wasn’t going great for Eddie. The players had their plan of a three-pronged attack, which meant that he had to essentially run three games at once. He didn’t remember being worried about it at the end of the last session, but now that they were discussing exactly how to split the party up, it was bugging him. He tried his best to let them decide among themselves how they were going to do this, but he had to listen in to the conversation to know what he was going to throw at them. 

Gareth drew a box on a piece of paper in the middle of the table. “Okay, we’ll have the Alpha-distraction group here,” he said.

“I thought we were calling the wizard Jamie,” Mike said. 

“Whatever we’re calling it, it’s the group that’s going to stay with Sadie on the material plane while she distracts him,” Gareth said. “Who’s on it?”

“Well, Sadie, obviously,” Erica said. 

“Which means Caleb wants to be there to guard her,” Jeff said.

“And she needs a bard, in order to bring her back from the curse. So it’s me or Quinn.” Dustin looked over at Eddie. “What about Quinn? Does he have a preference on where he goes?” 

Eddie crossed his arms. “What are the other options?”

“There’s the main attack team, which is where we should put our highest damage output,” Gareth said. “So Natalia and Joe, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Mike said. “I’m so ready to kick this guy’s ass already.” 

“And then there’s team bat-distraction,” Gareth said.

“Or batstraction, for short,” Dustin grinned. 

“That’s where we cause a big distraction in the demon realm to lure the bats away from the house,” Gareth said. 

“Yeah, I put that together,” Eddie said. He rubbed his forehead. “Okay, so that’s probably where Quinn wants to be. Not a sitting duck out on the material plane, waiting to be arrested or lynched, and not going toe-to-toe with the murderous psychic.” 

“And he’s a bard, so he’s good at being a distraction,” Grant said with a smirk.

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yes, and that,” he said. “Who else is still deciding where they will go?” 

“Maya isn’t sure if she should be on team distraction—”

“Batstraction,” Dustin said.

Gareth smirked. “Team batstraction, or the main attack team. She’s not really great at damage output, but we might need her for communications between the teams.”

Eddie sat back and rubbed his forehead as they continued to debate who would be in what team, and how communications between the teams could work. Dustin said something about magical walkie-talkies, but the closest they had were the animals that the bards could summon. They checked with him to make sure the animals could travel through the demonic realm, and he said that it seemed likely, as long as they didn’t get eaten. Finally, Dustin and Mike came up with a decent communication plan.

“We have one group at the Englund mansion in the real world, right? And another group going there in the demonic realm?” Mike said. The rest of them nodded. “So we just pick a meeting point close enough to the mansion for someone from on Sadie’s team to go and hang out when they’re ready. If it’s within sight of the house, we can use a light source, like a lantern, to signal when we’re ready, and that same light can be used by the group on the attack team to signal that they’re ready to move in.”

“Right, and since people in the demonic realm can hear what’s going on in the material plane, then we just need to signal back to the batstraction team to start their, uh, batstraction,” Dustin said. “So we really only need one long-distance signal. If Quinn summons a bird or squirrel or something, it can ride along with Joe and Natalia and they can send it back when it’s time to start.” 

“And if everything starts at the same time, then the heavy hitters can enter the house and kill the big mean psychic while he’s distracted by Sadie,” Jeff said. “Yeah, that works. I’m down for it.”

Dustin spread his hands out at the table to present his argument. “So we need three people at the mansion in the material plane. Sadie, Gaten, and Caleb? And Caleb can go out to signal the other team?”

“Caleb might be considered a fugitive from the town guard,” Eddie pointed out. “He escaped custody, remember?”

“Yeah, and Gaten and Sadie did, too.” Dustin grimaced. “Okay, then who else should it be?”

“Well, who else do we need on the high damage team?” Grant asked. “Are we good with just Joe and Natalia?” 

Erica flipped between her pages and raised her hand. “I think Priah might be a good choice there,” she said. “She does a lot of damage with her knives.”

Eddie sat up. “No way,” he said. “That’s too dangerous. She’s too young for that.”

The team looked at him like he had grown another head. Erica was the one who spoke up first. “You know that Priah isn’t actually a child, right?” she said. “I mean, my mom warned me that sometimes people have trouble separating the game from reality, but—”

“No, no, wait,” Eddie said. “That’s not what I meant. It’s not...” His head was really starting to hurt again. “I got distracted thinking about something else. It’s overlapping with... You know what? Ignore my comments. Just let me know when you’ve got a plan ready to go.” 

His players went back to discussing their strategy, though Erica threw a couple of very concerned looks his way as they did. It sounded like they were coming to a consensus, and it felt very wrong to him. They were going to have Gaten and Caleb stay with Sadie after all, despite Eddie having pointed out the issue with the town guard. Maya was going to stick with Quinn, using her illusions to supplement his bardic magic in order to make a big distraction. And, as suggested, Erica’s character was going to be on the front line, though she insisted she was going to be sneaking around in order to deal the most damage. 

There was something wrong with every part of it. Eddie could feel it deeply, right in the pit of his stomach. Usually, he would’ve reacted with glee to the idea of his players walking into a trap, but this time he couldn’t. He desperately wanted to tell them to change things around to the way it was supposed to be, but that wasn’t how the game worked. He was just going to have to roll with it.

Once they were all settled and ready to go, Eddie sat up straight and picked up his dice. From behind the screen, he straightened out the sheets he had for possible encounters. “Okay, so what’s the first thing you’re doing?” he asked.

“Going to the Englund mansion in the material plane and dropping off Sadie’s group,” Mike said. 

“All right. Miss Sinclair, are you sure you want Priah to go into the demonic realm instead of staying here?” Eddie asked. “I say this out of game because it’s going to be difficult to play two characters in totally different situations. If I catch you metagaming, that is, having Priah use Sadie’s knowledge—”

“I know what metagaming is,” Erica snapped. “We’re going into combat against a foe that will be immobilized while he’s in a trance. It’s just stupid to not bring a rogue. And since Sadie is going to be busy ensuring that this guy stays in a trance, it’s up to Priah to get her backstab on.” 

Eddie frowned. She was completely right about that. “Fine,” he said. “But as I was saying, any metagaming? Rocks fall, everyone dies.” 

They went back to playing. Eddie pushed his concerns about the wrongness of it all into the back of his mind and made them make some rolls when dropping the group off with Sadie. They rolled well, so they didn’t have any problem getting into the house. They had even accounted for making noise within the house, on the off chance that Jamie would be able to hear them from the demonic realm. Erica had Sadie roll for the other two, and said that they were following her lead. Jeff and Dustin both agreed, but Eddie rolled behind his screen for their characters anyway. The numbers were in their favor, so they were safe, for now.

He switched over to the rest of the group. They were all sneaking back into the thieves’ quarter so that they could go through the portal in Quinn’s house. They were loaded for bear, and made it through the portal undetected. On the other side, they split up again. Maya and Quinn were staying behind to quickly build a barrier around the version of his home on the demon realm, which they would hide behind after they set off their distraction. That gave them something to do while they waited for the signal from the other team.

“And what kind of signal are you using?” Eddie asked.

“Animal Summoning I, of course,” Gareth said. “Quinn has already demonstrated that he can do it and we haven’t cast anything yet.”

“Okay, so Quinn’s going to summon what, exactly?”

“A bird, maybe?” Grant asked.

“No, that might get eaten by the demobats,” Mike said. 

Eddie blinked a few times and turned to stare at him. “By the what?” 

Mike froze a little. “Demobats? Like...”

“They’re demonic, and they’re bats,” Dustin said, gesturing like it was obvious. “Demo. Bats.”

Eddie shook his head and sighed. “Right, whatever,” he said. “So we’re voting no on a bird?”

“Just use a squirrel or something,” Gareth said.

“And are you sure it’s not going to get eaten by a democat?” Eddie said. “Or maybe a democoyote?” 

“Send two,” said Erica. When the rest of the group turned to stare at her, she explained herself. “Summon two animals and send them both with us. Or heck, summon three. We each get one. We’ll send one back to signal that it’s time to start the distraction, and if said distraction doesn’t happen up in a timely manner, we’ll send another. One of them’s bound to make it through.”

“Oh, that’s a great idea,” Mike said. “It’s like a backup plan. Eddie’ll probably make some rolls for the squirrel to get through. Heck, Quinn might even know if his summoned creature has gotten eaten, right? Because he’s got a magical connection to it?” 

“And even if it gets through, we can send another one if something goes wrong during the fight,” Grant said. “I like it.” 

Eddie clapped his hands together. “Great. So you have your communication plan, and you’re splitting the party yet again, which I’m sure will work out great for you,” he said. The whole group gave him a collective eye roll so coordinated that he was tempted to compare it to the wave. “Are you ready to put this plan in action, or what?” 

They were. Gareth’s character stayed behind with Quinn, but Eddie didn’t make him sit off to the side any more than he did Dustin and Jeff. Everyone stayed around the table as Erica, Mike, and Grant made wisdom checks to find their way through the woods without tripping on any of the demonic vines. Eddie asked if they should be called demovines, but they ignored him. 

“So you manage to make it through the woods and come out near the demonic version of Englund manor,” Eddie said. “There’s a swarm of bats circling around it, but they haven’t spotted you. Yet. What do you do?”

“We have to wait for the other team’s signal,” Mike said. “One of them should be nearby with a light that we can use to signal back.” 

“That would have to be one of us,” Jeff said, pointing at himself and Dustin. “Did we figure out where Jamie is? Sadie has to taunt him into attacking her again before we start this whole plan.” 

Eddie rolled some dice and stared at them. They didn’t really tell him anything. He rubbed his forehead. “Yeah, it didn’t take you that long to find him. Seems like he just hangs out in his house like it’s his evil lair,” he said. Jeff snickered at that. “Okay, so Sadie is taunting him and you can tell he starts moving towards the attic. Are you all following him?”

“No, that’s too fast,” Dustin said. “Once we find him, then one of us goes out to the rendezvous point to wait for the other team to get in position before Sadie taunts him. And it’s probably gotta be Caleb, because Gaten needs to be able to sing Sadie out of her trance in an emergency.”

“Right, makes sense,” Jeff said. “So I’m the one out there, waiting to signal the team. We’re all ready to start?” 

“Yep,” Mike said. “Let’s go!” 

Eddie rubbed his forehead, trying to will away the building headache. He let them get things done without messing around too much. There were only so many encounters he could deal with at once, and he had one planned for each group. The backup summoned animal might make a difference in the way the two groups in the demon world interacted, but he didn’t think it would really matter.

Taglist: @weirdandabsurd42, @10moonymhrivertam, @blueskiesandstarrynight

[cowboy-like-moony]

Okay but 33 year old taylor singing never grow up? And then her singing 32 and still growing up now in innocent and in general her being older than the assholes that fucked with her life when she was 19 and singing about them knowing she survived all that and more and is still strong, stronger even then she was before and her singing about Joe Jonas now that their friends. Does anyone remember when the jonas brothers (well mostly nick) where teasing a ts collab like their life depended on it? I mean I think it was a joke, but you never know. (I also don't believe the rumours about Taylor Lautner being involved, but that would be so fucking iconic) Also WILL HER BREATHING IN LAST KISS LIVE UP TO ALL OF OUR EXPECTATIONS? (and is she now thinking about a different joe singing it?) And will she change the lyrics in better than revenge? (probably not right?) And if she doesn't will there be backlash (this seems like a bit of a losing game for her because either way someone might be upset). ALSO HER SINING LONG LIVE I'm going to cry everything I said about her being stronger now, but now it doesn't relate back to some stupid guy, but instead is about her fans and about her being afraid that her career wouldn't last, but oh how it lasted and now she is one of the biggest stars in the world, if not THE biggest and has millions of fans who love her just as passionately like they did back then and are just as crazy and look for Easter eggs and make the most beautiful costumes for her show and who cry to her songs (even sometimes the ones that aren't sad). She came so far since she wrote this album, but it remains one of her best ones being written all by her and having many absolutely incredible songs, seriously I would die for every single song on this album, she better finally give it the respect it deserves and then she'll ad more speak now songs to the set list and everything will be great!! I mean she has to add more songs right? It would be great promo and miss swift is a business woman. Also VAULT TRACKS? They're going to hit so hard I'm telling you!! Speaking of hitting, battle better be one of them. Oh my god and we might get new music videos and she'll probably make enchanted a single and it will have it's own video and will be number one and win a Grammy and an Oscar (I'm not sure yet how the last part will work, but it will happen!!) Also we've got to a speak now (tv) album cover?! OH MY GOD I'M FREAKING OUT, speak now is one of my favourite albums of all time and it might finally get the appreciation it deserves! (outside of the swiftie world, swifties already have great taste) ILYDDYLYSGZKGYDLHG I'M SO EXITED!! OH MY GOD SPEAK NOW WORLD DOMINATION hdhldlydkgdxkgkgzugiuc I'm not ready for this, like I know we all seen it coming, but we're any of us prepared for her actually announcing it? Anyway JULY 7 here we come, I can't wait💜

[unproduciblesmackdown]

oh the broadway world review of summer stock (a) loved it as much or more than anyone (b) has as much or more info than anyone and (c) generally has the most vivacity thus far

Summer Stock made its world premiere at The Goodspeed Opera House to a most deserving enthusiastic standing ovation. Based on the 1950 MGM film starring Hollywood legends Judy Garland and Gene Kelly, Summer Stock is a spectacular production with phenomenal dancing, feel-good music, and a sweet story, all modernized for today’s audiences.

Audiences will recognize and love hearing classic songs by Irving Berlin and from The Great American Songbook, including “Happy Days are Here Again”, “Accentuate the Positive”, “I’m Always Chasing Rainbows”, “It’s Only a Paper Moon”, “Me and My Shadow”, “Red Hot Mamma”, “’Til We Meet Again", and “You Wonderful You”. Summer Stock’s writer, Cheri Steinkellner, takes the original film story to a whole new level that both contemporary and classic theater goers will absolutely adore. Steinkellner provides additional lyrics to upgrade the story to first class. It’s hard to believe that she “got the call” to write Summer Stock in October, completed the workshop draft by March, and had the rehearsal draft ready by June for a July opening. Steinkellner clearly works well under pressure - Summer Stock is a diamond.

In the Writer’s Notes, Steinkellner elaborates on the restrictions of bringing the film to stage (like how heavy farm machinery wouldn’t fit up on the Goodspeed stage) and how she tackled answering the many questions that the original film glossed over: “Why is a Shakespearean matinee idol starring in a musical in a barn? What happens when you make show-people wake up at sunrise to muck out the stalls?” and more. She repositioned and repurposed the film’s original songs like “Howdy Neighbor” and “Dig for Your Dinner”, so the classic elements that film fans are looking for are still there - only, frankly, much much better. Lastly, she addresses the challenge of “crafting a [contemporary] story to support a diverse cast of characters with intention, authenticity, and care.” Steinkellner rose to the challenge, knocked it out of the park, and created a great musical in record time.

The story is simple and sweet. Set just after World War II, we meet Jane Falbury (Danielle Wade), a doting daughter working the family farm with her father, Lt. Henry “Pop” Falbury (Stephen Lee Anderson). The Falbury Farm is in trouble thanks to the devious and ambitious Margaret Wingate (Veanne Cox), who has grand aims for a monopoly over the Connecticut River Valley. Scheming with her naive son, Orville (Will Roland), they will stop at nothing to own the farm. Meanwhile, Jane’s showgirl sister, Gloria (Arianna Rosario), has moved to The Big Apple to make it on Broadway. She wins a spot in the chorus line of Joe Ross’ (Corbin Bleu) brand new show. With his sidekick and music director, Phil Filmore (Gilbert L. Bailey II) in tow and a Shakespearean star, Montgomery Leach, ready to take center stage, they hit a snag when they lose their rehearsal space. Gloria suggests uprooting the show to rehearse in her family’s barn. Jane, who is fresh out of farm hands, reluctantly agrees to let the actors stay in exchange for earning their keep. The company’s tight harmonies might not charm Jane at first, but they certainly had us swooning. I won’t spoil the entire plot, but will say that hilarity ensues, hearts flutter, dreams are realized, and it’s wonderful.

When I first heard about Summer Stock, I cynically thought that it felt too familiar. The show is set on a Connecticut farm whose owners have fallen on hard times and risk losing their livelihood. They turn to their Broadway friends, who are amidst the usual uphill battle of making it big in show business, and agree to put on a brand new production in the barn to raise funds to save the farm. It’s based on the film of the same name, features music by Irving Berlin, and includes incredible tap numbers, and spotlights America’s sweetheart Corbin Bleu. Hearing that alone, I’d think this was a copy/paste of Tony Award-nominated Holiday Inn: The New Irving Berlin Musical, which opened at The Goodspeed in 2014 and went to Broadway in 2016. We’ve seen a number of Irving Berlin musicals, including White Christmas, and the most recent Broadway production Nice Work if You Can Get It, starring Kelli O’Hara and Matthew Broderick. So, what more is there to add to this Broadway subgenre? If you’d asked me before, I would argue there’s “Nothing More to Say”. I was very wrong. Summer Stock raises the bar with phenomenal choreography, clever storytelling and humor, beautiful orchestrations, and unparalleled performers.

Speaking of unparalleled performers, the cast is perfection. There’s not a single throwaway line or character. They’re all exquisite gems and I’m running out of words to compliment them all. The “city mice” dancers and ensemble features Erika Amato, Hannah Balagot, DeShawn Bowens, Ronnie S. Bowman Jr., Emily Kelly, Francesca Mancuso, Tommy Martinez, Corinne Munsch, Gregory North, Kaylee Olson, Jack Sippel, and Cayel Tregeagle. Danielle Wade sweetly croons just like Judy Garland and swept audiences off their feet. As I left the theater, I overheard two ladies praising Wade for her stupendous performance, saying it was perfect likeness of Garland, yet even more meaningful. Arianna Rosario, as the sugary sweet sister, is absolutely delightful. Stephen Lee Anderson, as  the veteran and father, tugs our heart strings. Gilbert L. Bailey II and Will Roland had the crowd roaring with laughter as the feisty music director and innocent corporate heir. Veanne Cox, as the melodramatic mother and CEO of Wingate Agricultural Corporate, had the crowd roaring with laughter from the moment she spoke her first line. Not to be outdone, J. Anthony Crane, as the over-the-top Shakespearean star, brought down the house with his entrance alone. Together, Cox and Crane generate instant heat, which is especially appropriate since they rock the stage with Red Hot Mamma. The cheeky, interspersed Shakespearean innuendo is fast-paced, clever, and had the audience hooting and hollering. I would see the show again for this duo.

Last, but far from least, Corbin Bleu, as the show’s director, gives the performance of a lifetime. Bleu radiates pure joy and leads with heart, inviting his scene partners to shine with him. Audiences instantly fell in love with his gorgeous, velvety voice, and, understandably, swooned. Bleu previously won the Chita Rivera Award for Outstanding Male Dancing in a Broadway Show for his portrayal in Irving Berlin’s Holiday Inn, and his transcendent tapping in Summer Stock shows he’s not stopping there. Bleu’s dancing is out of this world! You can’t miss his charming and virtuosic spin on Gene Kelly’s iconic solo dance, featuring the world’s most unexpected dance partner. Corbin Bleu is a national treasure.

The 8-piece orchestra, lead by Goodspeed’s resident music director Adam Souza, performs the remarkable orchestrations, by Doug Besterman, beautifully. The score is demanding, but the musicians don’t let us see them sweat. As much as I’m gushing, I would recommend shifting the show to one hour earlier and give it a little trim. Not a haircutter’s inch, but a discreet tidy-up. As it turns out, I was in slight agreement with the obnoxious subscribers behind me, who disrupted a precious moment to voice their complaints, “This is two hours and forty minutes? Way too long!” I nearly turned to fisticuffs in defense of this phenomenal cast, but chose to deliver an icy, yet effective, glare. I digress, but Goodspeed subscribers are truly spoiled with top-rate performers straight from the Broadway stage. In any case, we could use a couple more developmental scenes to fully flesh out the plot, and I’d be willing to sacrifice by shaving a bit off some of the longer dance numbers (“Everybody Step” and “Dig For Your Dinner”) and songs. (Not too much! Just an inch! And don’t dare recast any characters!)

That isn’t to say that the dance performances weren’t epic: Summer Stock has the best dancing I have ever seen, hands down. The virtuosic ensemble, lovingly called “city mice”, perfectly deliver wildly acrobatic displays all with impossibly high-energy and make it look easy. Director and choreographer, Donna Feore, has made an unforgettable, magnificent Goodspeed debut. Feore makes use of every inch of the stage, making it feel larger than life, and her attention to detail is unsurpassed. The choreography is out of this world! Wilson Chin, scenic designer, set the stage beautifully. The Technicolor New England farm-turned-theater is framed with classic red-sided barn, delicate florals climbing the walls, and hurricane lanterns lovingly displayed as accent pieces. Summer Stock is Goodspeed’s best original production ever. The 12, which opens next, has very big shoes to fill. Summer Stock has its eyes set on Broadway. Does Summer Stock deserve a Broadway run? Absolutely. In this critic’s opinion, it couldn’t get there soon enough.  Perhaps my favorite aspect of the production were the many comedic theater flourishes. Broadway audiences will cry with laughter when they watch the city mice (actors) learn how to play the part of farmhands: “What is the farmer’s motivation?” “E-I, E-I!” Frankly, I want an original cast album yesterday. Finally, when it opens on Broadway, you’ll wish you had seen it at The Goodspeed first.

[turtlethon]

“The Unknown Ninja”

Season 9, Episode 1 First US Airdate: September 16, 1995

The Turtles encounter an alien warlord and are monitored by a mysterious stranger.

“The Unknown Ninja” is the first episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles season nine. Mark Edens – a contributor to the series going all the way back to “Camera Bugged” - returns after a six-year absence for this collaboration with the debuting Bob Forward. This is the first episode of the show not written by David Wise since season seven’s “White Belt, Black Heart”.

Season eight marked a dramatic reinvention of TMNT and much of that is carried over to this year, including its clumsy, half-hearted title sequence. However, the art style used for the 1994 episodes may have met with a negative reception as the look of the Turtles has now changed again, the team now drawn in a simpler, wide-eyed style that seems to be trying to strike a balance between their look in the classic era of the show with their initial edgy Red Sky makeovers. We open with the green teens reviewing footage of a prior battle against a group of the same ninjas who worked for Megavolt in “State of Shock”. Donatello documented this encounter using a head-mounted camera, unimaginatively dubbed the “Turtle-Cam”. Raphael notes that in the background of the footage an onlooker riding a motorbike can be seen nearby, a stranger that he had spotted during their last few missions, and the group begin to wonder if there’s something to this.

Above the planet, a portal opens. From it emerges a large spaceship containing Lord Dregg (Tony Jay), who has arrived in our corner of the universe while attempting to evade being captured by the Galactic Patrol. His insect-like underling HiTech informs him that Earth contains supplies of the gold that they require, and so the villain orders that his TechnoGang are tasked with retrieving it. A smaller ship emerges from Dregg’s, ready to commence the mission.

The Turtle Blimp makes an unexpected return to the series after an extended absence as the team survey the area, attempting to track down whoever was watching them (a hell of a task given that there were 7.3 million people in New York in 1995, and as that the stranger was wearing a bike helmet they don’t even know what he looks like). Along the way, the Turtles spot someone blowing up the entrance to the Federal Reserve vault, and swoop in to intervene. A group of Dregg’s bug troopers, the TechnoGang, emerge and shoot down the glider, forcing the Turtles to leap onto a nearby rooftop.

Watching again is the mystery biker, who rides in and prevents the Turtles from being hit by a laser weapon mounted atop the TechnoGang's ship. The stranger continues to meddle in the affairs of our heroes, kicking Donatello to the ground as he does battle with one of the invaders. Ultimately the TechnoGang retreat in their ship without the gold, the biker also escaping.

Back in the Lair’s workshop we kick off a new sub-plot, as Donatello examines a beaker containing some of the mutagen which caused both the Turtles and Splinter to take on their current forms. Years on, the ooze is now beginning to become unstable, something that Donnie warns suggests the team could continue to transform. The Lair’s warning systems alert our heroes to the impending arrival of an intruder: It’s the biker again, riding around in the sewers.

After being cornered by the Turtles, the mystery man is forced to remove his helmet and reveal himself. The team are introduced to Carter, the new character being introduced in a desperate attempt to boost low ratings. Half Joe Camel and a third Fonzarelli, he’s one outrageous dude who’s totally in your face. From the outset he’s presented as having outsmarted the Turtles, tracing them back to their Lair despite their best efforts to remain unseen (something Shredder and Krang were unable to do despite eight whole seasons of trying). Carter asks to meet Hamato Yoshi, having determined that the fighting technique used by the Turtles could only have been taught to them by him. The Turtles remain hostile until Splinter intervenes, revealing to the youth his former identity. Splinter agrees to teach Carter the ways of the Foot, and just like that the series has found its Scrappy Doo.

Aboard his ship Dregg is informed by HiTech of the failure of the TechnoGang's mission due to the intervention of the Turtles. Seeking a way to rebound, he looks in on a boardroom at a firm called CopCore, where two robots are being unveiled. What follows is a beat-for-beat recreation of the scene from Robocop where ED-209 was introduced (albeit with a far less gruesome conclusion) as a man announces the rollout of The Intimidators, “the future of law enforcement”. There’s a hint of Minority Report thrown in here too – perhaps a nod to the original novella, but certainly not to the movie, which was still several years away – as we’re told the robots use neurological sensors to “detect criminal intentions and actually prevent the criminal from committing the crime.” Everyone in attendance has a good laugh when the robots begin issuing warnings, thinking it’s all a big show, but the bots soon begin to warn that the group have five seconds to comply, opening fire with their in-built weapons and blowing a hole in the wall.

Sitting in on this meeting is April, who like the Turtles has received a makeover for the second year in a row. There really wasn’t anything wrong with her season eight design but this revision is disastrous, her facial features now simplified and oddly doughy, coupled with a new limp hairdo that I assume was intended to keep her looking contemporary heading into the second half of the nineties but it absolutely does not work. Sneaking out of the room, she uses her Turtlecom to reach Donatello, and the team rush to her aid in the van. Carter is keen to join the Turtles but is told to stay behind and watch how things play out via the Turtle-Cam. Already he’s pissing and moaning, frustrated at being denied a piece of the action.

The Turtles do battle with the robots and are forced to take refuge in an elevator shaft, where the Turtle-Cam – worn during this mission by Michaelangelo – is soon destroyed. Fearing that the team are in trouble, Carter ignores their earlier instructions and rushes to their aid, accidentally splashing some of the contents of the mutagen beaker on his hand on the way out. Upon arriving at the building, he manages to unwittingly lead the Intimidators to the Turtles.

A bigger problem arrives as Lord Dregg emerges from his ship, announcing himself as the “Supreme Warlord of the Seven Galaxies”, intent on conquering the Earth. The Turtles turn their enemies against each other, diving out of the way to have Dregg’s ship open fire upon the Intimidators. The team then work to wear down both the law enforcement robots and the ship, but find themselves overwhelmed. Carter steps in, riding a rolling office desk to topple the Intimidators. Meanwhile Dregg, seeing the threat posed by the green teens, uses his ship’s equipment to revitalise the two robots, before taking Carter hostage and escaping.

Left to fight the robot duo on their own, the Turtles watch as one of the Intimidators self-destructs – a nasty going-away present for anyone capable of defeating them. Seeing an opportunity, Donatello connects a Turtlecom to the remaining robot, connecting it to his workshop’s computer. This grants the team with control of the bot and they use it as a makeshift vehicle, flying out of the building in pursuit of Dregg’s ship.

Aboard Dregg’s spacecraft, Carter remains caught in a giant claw. He writhes and struggles as he attempts to free himself, grunting about how he’s “gotta be strong” until he begins to mutate, a visual of the beaker from earlier superimposed over this sequence as apparently the show doesn’t trust us to understand what’s going on even after eight full years of watching assorted people and animals undergo this process. His new form is what I can only assume is the result of what market research and focus groups told the producers that mid-nineties kids would want from a new Turtles character: a mish-mash of Liu Kang, Vega and... I don’t know, a big yellow chicken.

Dregg again attempts to steal the gold, explaining to nobody in particular that he needs it to repair the weapons systems of his mothership, the Dreggnaught, ahead of his eventual conquest of Earth. An unexpected complication arrives in the shape of the Turtles, utilising the Intimidator to attack the smaller ship. As Carter uses his new martial arts cyborg form to break free, the Turtles confront the warlord. The giant mutant – whose real identity the Turtles remain unaware of – shoves them out of the ship moments before the detonator function of the Intimidator causes the craft to explode. Dregg escapes in a smaller vehicle, returning to his mothership in orbit above the Earth. 

The Turtles, having been separated from the giant mutant who saved them, return to their Lair, lamenting that Carter appeared to have perished in the ship’s explosion. Now back in his normal form he returns to greet them, evasive in his explanation of how he escaped. Splinter remarks that “any young man who could survive such overwhelming odds surely has unusual powers”. Carter responds that he’s ready to begin his training under the team’s sensei, and now receives a warm welcome from the Turtles.

You might be able to sense my hostility in today’s entry towards the changes to the show’s dynamics being introduced here. While season seven saw a natural evolution and a necessary maturation for TMNT to keep pace with its now older viewership, season eight felt like a desperate roll of the dice to ensure the survival of the series, and while some aspects of this reinvention felt like an over-correction, I was surprised by how solid it was. We now find ourselves in a situation where somehow even this was felt to not be enough. There’s an insecurity on display here, the show second-guessing itself by redesigning the Turtles and April for a second time. The culmination of these changes has resulted in the series losing everything that made it visually appealing, looking instead like so much of the cookie-cutter animated dreck of the era (see the Double Dragon cartoon as an example of the glut of action shows which arrived following the success of Batman and X-Men, typically produced on a fraction of the budget with none of the craftmanship or charm, almost all of them long-forgotten). This occurs at the same time as yet another shift of animation studio, Dai Won being replaced by Shanghai Morning Sun Animation, who around this time were working on the similarly mundane American cartoon adaptation of Street Fighter. TMNT has certainly looked worse – there's nothing in here near the lows of the MW Dublin episodes – but much of the heart of the classic era is now gone.

Turtles has never been short of Scrappy Doos and Poochies – kid characters and/or super cool dudes who are supposed to be relatable to the audience and expand the appeal of the property beyond that of the main team. Zach and Mondo Gecko are obvious examples of this in the 1987 continuity, Keno serving a similar role in the live-action movies. Carter comes across as an attempt to find the sweet spot in a Venn diagram between all three. He reminds me of the common occurrence in long-running sitcoms where once the original child actors grow older a new, younger kid would be introduced to the show to recapture the magic of the early years. From the outset it’s clear that he’ll have an uphill battle winning over viewers who have gotten used to the dynamic of the Turtles as a quartet over eight years. He’s an interloper here, effectively inheriting the poisoned chalice of the “Fifth Turtle”, and based on my memories of seeing these episodes the first time around I have little faith in his ability to win me over in the short amount of time the show has left.

Similarly, Lord Dregg has big shoes to fill given that he replaces Shredder as the show’s main villain immediately following Oroku Saki’s reinvention as a competent character in season eight: how could any new guy come in this late in the day and possibly top the shocking destruction of the Channel 6 building? Tony Jay is no slouch as voice actors go, but so far Dregg is missing something. The Turtles have run into too many alien invaders over the years for this gimmick to be a novelty, and nothing in this episode elevates this warlord to the point where he feels like a significant threat to them, a challenge to our heroes big enough to justify him taking over from Shreds.

The evolution of TMNT in the Red Sky era continues, with further steps taken here towards long-form storytelling, teasing viewers with hints of events still to come such as the potentially-unstable mutations of the Turtles. We’ll see the continuation of that in the next episode, “Dregg of the Earth”.

[mayhemproduces]

Bryan Danielson (c) vs Pandemonium - MPW Stardust Championship

This summer has become the Summer of MPW, as we have become the hottest we have ever been, capping off pride month with one of the gayest shows we have ever had. We follow it up with the only way we know how - Pandemonium vs Danielson II, in front of a white hot crowd, split between their hometown favorites. By the night's end, we suspect that Pan will become the favorite, as Bryan’s attitude has soured him a great deal with the MPW fanbase, but it was hard not to cheer for the Dragon in his home state. We don’t know how many more times we’ll get Bryan here, and they’re going to soak up every moment of it, as we head to the middle of the ring with the always dashing, Steve Guy!

“To everyone here in Seattle, Washington, and everyone watching along at home, I must ask you, ARE YOU READY FOR A FIGHT?!?!” Oh, Steve, you best believe they are, “Your TV main event will be a singles contest, scheduled for one fall, with a sixty minute time limit. And it will be for the MPW Stardust Championship!” With a dazzling smile, Steve gestures to the left, “And to my left, the challenger.”

“Fighting out of right here, in Seattle, Washington, weighing in tonight at 134 pounds, she is the IRON HEART, PANDEMONIUM!”

Normally Pan is one with a bright smile, feeding off the energy of the crowd, but tonight, she’s locked all in on Bryan Danielson, and regaining the Stardust Championship. The past year has been filled with so many highs - winning the Clusterfuck, main eventing her first Pay Per View, being crowned wrestler of the year, wrestling Chris fucking Hero - but the time she has wanted most of all has eluded her. Tonight, she has a chance to wrap gold around her waist again. And nobody is getting in her way of becoming champion once again.

“And to my right, the champion,” the Washington Hall is split down the middle, half hating who Bryan has become, the other half still adoring the wrestler we know him to be, but Bryan doesn’t seem to care what they think of him, “Fighting out of Aberdeen, Washington, weighing in tonight at 185 pounds, he is the MPW Stardust Champion, the AMERICAN DRAGON, BRYAN DANIELSON!”

Holding the title up, Bryan matches forward, looking Pan up and down with a smirk, but her gaze never leaves the title. He turns, arms out as he looks out at his hometown. Our referee for our main event will be none other than Jake Clemons, our senior referee taking the Stardust Championship from Bryan. He displays it, the beautiful title glistening under the lights of Washington Hall, for all of Seattle to see.

With the title tucked away and passed off to ringside, Clemons checks on both champion and challenger, before finally calling for the bell! Our main event contest is underway, and Pandemonium wastes no time going right after the Dragon! But Bryan doesn't want any of Pan, not just yet, and quickly vacates to the floor. Pan stops in her tracks, eye twitching, as Bryan paces the outside of the ring. He stops, smirking, and does some jumping jacks to help him warm up. But Pan can't wait anymore. She rolls out after him, and Bryan rolls back into the ring. Danielson takes a little victory lap around the ring, his arms stretched out, as Pan tentatively follows Bryan back inside the squared circle. She knows what he's trying to do; he wants to get under her skin and throw her off her game. But she can't let that happen. She grew up with the Kings of Wrestling, she came up under the thumb of the legendary Samoa Joe. She's been tested at every opportunity, and Bryan won't be able to get the best of her tonight. Locking up, into a collar and elbow, they battle for control. Pan gets him pinned in the corner, going for a chop, but Bryan ducks and turns her around, firing off a quick chop of his own! Bryan quickly backs up, staying out of Pan’s reach. Bryan goes low, trying to pick the ankle, but Pan kicks him off - and Danielson immediately rolls to the outside. He's refusing to let Pan find any sort of groove in this match up as he stalls on the floor once more. Kneeling on the apron, Bryan leans back, staring at Pan, as he continues to stall. He finally climbs back into the ring, circling his challenger, before offering her a hand. Pan interlocks their fingers, and Bryan drops to his back, trying to pick the leg again, but Pan doesn't fall for it. Back to his feet, with control of the wrist now, Danielson gets a top wristlock, but Pandemonium drops to her own back, overtaking Danielson and getting a wristlock. With a snapmare tossing the challenger, Pan tries to close the distance, but Bryan ducks under the wild swing at his head, and comes up doing more jumping jacks. Another arrogant smirk, as Pan balls up her fists. It was getting more difficult to not let these antics get under her skin, but she tried to remind herself Bryan wouldn't be doing this if he wasn't at least a little scared of her. In their only contest, Pan tapped out the Dragon. Although he claims he was on “easy mode” back in the early days, that's still a feat that lingers in the back of both of their minds.

Locking up, Danielson gets control over the wrist, but Pandemonium can find a wristlock to turn the tides. She gets a headlock out of it, and Bryan brings them back to the ropes to push her off. Pandemonium swings at Danielson’s head, but once again, Bryan not only ducks underneath but ducks under the ropes and slides straight out of the ring. Only he’s not expecting Pandemonium to continue running the ropes, as he turns around to see a flying Pan, wiping him out with a somersault plancha! No time is wasted as Panda brings the fight right back inside the ring, aiming what would’ve been a huge running knee strike to the temple of the Dragon, but Bryan quickly vacates to the floor. Pan looks annoyed but doesn’t let it stop her. Running the ropes, she goes for a tope suicida, but Danielson sees this one coming, and redirects Pan to go shoulder first into the barricade! Pan hits HARD, and Bryan quickly takes advantage, wrapping the right arm up in a hammerlock, and throwing it into the ring post! Pan’s shoulder connects with a sickening thud, as Danielson tries to pop it out of socket! Pan gasps as she cradles the shoulder, falling to her knees, but there’s no rest for the wicked in Seattle. Bryan immediately has control of the arm, wringing it over his head to send those stinging, searing shards of pain down Pan’s arm, before tucking it back into the hammerlock, and throwing her shoulder back into that unforgiving ring post. That’s steel straight to the bone, and Pan lets out a deep, throaty cry as she falls to her knees, eyes squeezed shut until Bryan throws her back into the ring. She’s gonna have one hell of a time trying to lock in that Necktie now. That was all part of the plan; isolate and target the arm, take away the Necktie, the move that beat him last time, and soften her up for the LeBell lock. He may not get Pan to tap out, but he can do a whole lot of damage. With a firm kick to the elbow, now, Bryan pushes her into the corner. He lights her up with a chop, then a kick to the chest, targeting high on the right side, before landing another chop. But Pan’s able to turn things around, landing two straight chops before Danielson grabs the right arm, twisting it over his head. The arm gets snapped down across his shoulder, eliciting a groan from Pan, before Bryan brings her down to the mat. Palm tucked against the canvas, Bryan pins it there with his boot on the elbow as he looks out at their hometown, before he leaps, and crushes the arm! Pan’s arm caves under the pressure, and bent in an unnatural angle. Hopefully, that didn’t just break Pan’s arm!

Champion with an uppercut, throwing Pan to the ropes. Now it’s Bryan who misses his target, as Pan ducks underneath, and on the rebound, plows through him with a big running knee strike! She kips up to her feet as Bryan rolls to the apron, although the movement is a bit delayed, with the arm in the current state that it is. But still, Pan will never let that stop her, and heads towards the corner, intending to springboard off those ropes, and hit Bryan with a springboard dropkick, knocking Bryan back to the floor! Pan rolls right out after him, tossing the Dragon back inside the ring, while she heads to the top rope. A technical master in her own right, but Pan has so many ways to beat you, and Bryan has to be worried about it all. And she could seal the deal here, as Pan comes off the top with a huge double foot stomp! Pan with the first cover of the match!

1… 2… Kickout!

Sitting back on her haunches, Pan rolls out her shoulder, trying to remove some of the pins and needles working their way into her fingers. As she rises, Danielson does too, and the challenger fires off a huge chop to the champion, sending him reeling to the ropes. Grabbing the wrist, Pan tries to whip him, but Danielson reverses. But Pan strikes on the rebound, nailing Danielson with a huge kick! Bryan eats it on the jaw, and Pan looks to follow up, but Bryan sends her to the floor. Danielson runs the ropes, going for a tope suicida, but Pan grabs him mid-flight, planting him on the venue floor with a Northern Lights suplex! The bridge Pan got on that was insane, and all of the wind gets driven out of the Dragon's lungs. But with the damage done to her arm, Pan can't capitalize right away. It took her a moment to get up - even still, she wasn't even breathing heavily yet. Those cardio workouts are definitely going to make a huge difference tonight - but Bryan trips her up, and Pan's face hits the steel steps hard! Bryan rolls into the ring as Pan tries to push herself away from the steps, a piece of that diamond plating forming a thin crimson line down the side of her head, and Bryan smells blood in the water. After quickly breaking the referee's count, Danielson is on Pandemonium, punching her over, and over, and over, and over again, causing what would've been a small cut to gash open. With Pan’s blood adorning his fists, Danielson rolls back inside the ring for a victory lap, showing off to his opponent, to all of his beloved fans, as Clemons goes to check on Pan. Clemons kneels in front of her, checking on the wound, asking if she needs a medic, but Pan, a far gone look in her eyes, just shakes her head. She shoves Clemons away and drops to her hands and knees, blood dripping on the floor, as her opponent rolls to the floor. But Bryan doesn't go on the attack. He goes to the commentary booth and takes a drink of water, throwing it back at Excalibur.

Taking his time, Bryan walks over to Pan, grinding her flesh along that diamond plating once again, before picking her up, and throwing Pandemonium into the barricade. “Come on, Pandemonium. We don't have all day.” Grabbing her by the hair, Bryan makes her look out at the crowd, as they begin to cheer for her, “Don't you hear them? You're failing them.” Bryan chuckles as Pan shoves him back, her fist balled up at her side. “You're not a hero. You've always been just a spoiled little brat -” but Pan cuts him off, unloading a flurry of forearms into Bryan! She's heard enough! After several powerful shots connect, Bryan can grab the arm, twist it into a hammerlock, and thrust her into the barricade. Pinning her up against it, Bryan steps up on a chair, using the leverage to afflict more damage to the arm, while he's able to fishhook the nose, gouging out her eyes. Danielson releases when he feels he needs to break Clemons’s count, but returns to the outside to continue stalking Pan. She throws a chop at him, nailing him on the chest, but Bryan can grab hold of the arm, snapping it over his chest. Getting it back in a hammerlock, Danielson thrusts her shoulder into the ring post once again. With a handful of hair, Danielson brings the action back inside the ring and demands the crowd keep trying to cheer her on before they see their idol meet her end. Grabbing Pan up by the hair, Danielson lays into her with stiff uppercuts, rocking the challenger, but Pan stays on her feet. Wobbling, Pan throws back a heavy handed chop, cracking her palm against Bryan's reddened flesh. The shot sends Bryan back a foot, but he shakes his head and fires back an uppercut. Pan throws an uppercut to match his, the two trading shots in the middle of the ring, until Danielson decides to get a front facelock instead, flipping Pan with a quick suplex. Danielson floats on top of her, straddling Pan and raining down unprotected, stiff elbows to the jaw until Pan's arms start to go limp.

Danielson moves into a Juji Gatame, targeting the right arm, but Pan keeps her fingers laced together to stop Bryan from getting it locked in all the way. Danielson rolls over so he's sitting on top of Pan, Pan on her side with a leg wrapped around their throat, as Bryan rains down his right hand to her throat. This isn't so much a submission anymore, instead beating Pandemonium down while she's defenseless. When Bryan does get up, he puts Pandemonium in the corner and nails her with a knife edge chop. Then a kick, another chop, alternating between the shots, until Bryan tries to whip her into the opposite corner. But Pan's able to reverse! Bryan flies into the corner, using the turnbuckles to backflip over his opponent, and runs the ropes. Normally Bryan goes for a flying elbow or a clothesline, but Pan sees it coming, and instead scoops Danielson up into a Coquina Clutch! She swings off her feet, legs wrapped around his waist, and brings them crashing to the mat, all in one fluid motion! Danielson's eyes nearly jump out of his skull as Pandemonium locks a tight grip around his throat, not giving Bryan any room to breathe. Danielson struggles, trying to find the ropes, but she's got this locked in the dead center of the ring. He can get there, but what will he have left in the tank?

Instead, Bryan has to opt for more resourceful measures. It's hard to move with such a tight hold around him, but Bryan can pull Pandemonium’s legs apart just enough that he can turn over and rain down those vicious, heavy elbows to the throat. Trying to beat her into submission, but Pan won't go down so easily. She grabs Bryan, rolling him onto his back, with her legs wrapped around his legs, like a modified Rings of Saturn! Shifting his hips, Danielson tries to scoot down to the ropes, trying to place a foot there, but Pandemonium turns them the other way to prevent it. Danielson's able to post up on his knees, break Pan’s legs apart, and bring the left leg into a stretch muffler. Thanks to Bryan's crawling, she's much closer to the ropes, and she's able to turn her body close enough to wrap a hand around the bottom cable, and Clemons is on the job. But of course, Bryan holds on for as long as he can, reminding Jake, “I have until five, referee.” For Bryan's sake, we hope one of these referees will get the memo eventually, but until then, we can always count on him to remind them of the rules.

With the champion up on a knee, Pan rises behind him, nailing Bryan with a running uppercut! The shot propels Bryan back into the corner, where Pan nails him with a second uppercut, then another. Bryan reverses the next one, putting Pan on the ropes, and nailing her with an uppercut! He lands a headbutt, knocking her into the corner, then lands a kick to the chest. An Irish whip reversed again, and Pan comes in hot off his heels with a huge running knee strike, nailing Bryan right on the jaw with it! Bryan's practically putty in her hands as she pulls him out of the corner, but Bryan ducks her clothesline, slipping behind Pan and tossing her with a German suplex - but Pan sticks the landing! Danielson tries to jump to his feet, but Pan is faster, bringing Bryan crashing to the mat with an omoplata, and trying to cinch in the Necktie! Danielson rolls forward before she can get it fully locked in, rolling Pan onto her stomach. His feet slip into her bent legs, getting her set up for the Romero Special. Danielson tells her to reach for the ropes, trying to goad her into freeing her arms, but when she doesn't fall for it, Bryan slaps her sides, grinding his knuckles into her ribs, her hips, until he's got possession of both arms. Bryan rocks back, savoring the stretch of that bruised arm, before Danielson rolls to his back, pulling on all of Pan’s limbs. Clemons checks for a verbal submission, but Pan shakes her head. Danielson can't keep it up for long, placing Pandemonium down to her knees, and pulling her back into a Romero Dragon Sleeper. Wrenching back on the neck, and curving the spine into an incredibly uncomfortable angle, but Pan still doesn't quit. She reaches back with her arms and punches Bryan on the hands, the elbows, and anything she can reach until Bryan lets up on the neck. He does keep hold of the legs, targeting the left here, as he gets her in a heel hook. Twisting the ankle as Pan grits her teeth, Pandemonium wraps her good arm around his head and neck, pulling him onto his back, and Pand rolls them both over, getting Bryan in a crossface! She reaches down and grabs hold of his right leg, pulling it into a modified calf slicer, as she goes from head to calf. Wrenching back on the submission, doing as much wear and tear as she can, before Bryan reaches back to grab her by the hair, dribbling her skull into the mat.

She's slow to the punch after having her brains rattled, barely able to sit up as Bryan gets to his feet. He stands above her, pushing his hair back with his stained hands. Pan's blood covered both of them, as they spilled blood, sweat, and tears over the Stardust Championship. And now Danielson lines her up, and cracks a firm kick against her chest, with the crowd responding with a loud, “YES!” They may long Pan, but they couldn't help themselves. Three more kicks connect before Bryan backs up, going for the buzzsaw as the crowd hangs in anticipation, but Pan cuts him off with a stiff forearm! Danielson throws back two forearms of his own, stunning the challenger long enough for him to run the ropes, but Pan slams her foot into his temple, nearly taking down the Stardust Champion with a precise roundhouse kick! Pan takes a quick second to do some jumping jacks, mocking Bryan as the champion falls to the mat. Pan falls back herself, but the ropes keep her afloat. She walks up to Bryan, who sits up, sneering at Pan, and demands that she hit him again. She lands a swift kick to the face, then punches him in the face, before yanking Bryan to his feet and putting him on the top rope. She climbs up to the middle, softening up her opponent with forearms to the face, but Danielson powers back with a headbutt. Pan with a headbutt, Bryan with another, but Pan stuns him on the next. She rises to the top rope, bringing Bryan up to his feet - and flips back! They come crashing down with a HUGE avalanche Spanish Fly! Holy shit! Pan crawls into the cover, hooking the far leg!

1… 2… Kickout!

Bryan survives! Keeping the title around his waist for the moment, but Pan's setting up for the move that helped her finish off the legendary Chris Hero, going for the Law of Return, but Danielson scoots it. He jumps up and pushes her from behind, sending Pan tumbling over the ropes, and to the floor! Danielson steps out to the apron, setting up for a running knee off the apron, but as he jumps for it, Pan's able to catch him, and deposit him across the apron with a powerbomb! Danielson's spine contorts against the unforgiving apron, and he might be done for! Pan quickly throws him back inside the ring, charging towards him, but Bryan avoids the running knee by simply collapsing. Pan slides to a stop, nearly running into the turnbuckles with the speed she had behind that running knee, and she punches the mat in frustration. Rising, her lips pursed as she matches up to Bryan - who suckers her into a roll up!

1… 2… Kickout!

Tripping Pan up, Bryan brings her to the mat, twisting the bad arm into the LeBell Lock position, but Pan blocks the crossface. He gouges at her eyes, and finally gets it locked in full. All the damage done got her arm is catching up with her now, and Pandemonium struggles in the hold. She tries to get to the ropes, but at least she isn't fading just yet. Over the past four years, we've watched Pandemonium not just come into her own as a wrestler, but as an athlete, and all those aerobic and cardiovascular exercises make surviving this hold more feasible. She knows she won't pass out like this, but she needs to ask herself at what point does she give up her title aspirations to save the shoulder. Getting her hands on that white belt is what drives her forward; the eyes of everyone in her home state, all of them, and everyone watching at home, cheering her on, drives her forward. Eventually, Pan can turn to the ropes and grabs onto them. Danielson wrenches back, refusing to release until moments before 5, putting his hand in Jake's face as he releases, telling him, “I have until five.” And until five does he hold on, but he does let her go.

Danielson gets to his feet, eyeing Pan as she leans against the ropes, trying to lift herself to her feet. It's a struggle with one good arm, and Bryan looks to put her out of her misery - but Pan fakes him out, sending Bryan to the floor! As Danielson gets to his feet, Pan gets to the top rope. She flips back, wiping out the champion with a gorgeous Moonsault! What height, what extension; Pan could be moments away from finishing this right here, as she throws Bryan back inside the ring. She lines him up, charging him, but Bryan ducks bounces off the ropes, and turns her inside OUT with a BUSAIKU KNEE! Pan lands flat on her face, and Bryan quickly turns her over! Both legs are hooked! Bryan retains!

1…

2…

KICKOUT!

Pan survives! It's not over, not yet! Bryan rolls to his back, looking up at the lights in disbelief, as Pandemonium tries to find a way to shake off these cobwebs. That knee rattled her brains, but Bryan is so thoughtful and helps Pan sit up, before nailing her with a stiff forearm. The shot rocks Pan back, but she's able to throw a powerful forearm back, rocking the champion. Trading blows from their knees, they battle to their feet until a shot pushes Bryan to the ropes. He bounces off, picking up steam, and runs right into a roundhouse kick! It's Pan's turn to run the ropes, and on the rebound, Bryan stuns her with a roundhouse kick. She's out on her feet, but not down, and Bryan nails her with a rolling elbow. Danielson gets Pan upside down, hanging there for a moment, as all the blood rushes to her head… before spiking her with a Piledriver! Danielson rolls her over, hooking both legs to retain!

1… 2… Kickout!

Sitting back, Bryan looks down at Pan, shaking his head, before he rises, hair pushes back. He smirks before pointing at Pan, the crowd chanting along,

“IT'S TIME TO KICK HER FUCKING HEAD IN!”

With that, Danielson grabs her by the wrists, and does, indeed, try to kick her whole damn head in. Raining down those aggressive, relentless stomps to the throat, the chest, anywhere he can place them. Once he chooses to relent, Danielson falls back, crouching in the corner, as Pan rolls over, trying to breathe. Bryan stands up, flicking his hair back, his arms jutting into the air-

“YES!”

“YES!”

“YES!”

“YES!”

With Pan finally back on her feet, Danielson shoots across the ring, going for another Busaiku knee - but Pan scoops him up! A HUGE powerbomb plants Bryan, rattling the mat beneath them, and Pan immediately rolls him over, sinking into a Boston Crab! She sits all the way down into it, putting as much pressure onto Bryan's spine as she can. Danielson's eyes squeeze tightly as he tries to fight off the pain. Gradually, he's able to roll himself onto his back, and uses his legs to throw Pan up into the air, catching her into a Triangle! Immediately Bryan rains down vicious, pointy elbows to the top of the dome, trying to elbow the fight out of Pandemonium. But that heart is made of iron, and Pan tries to lift him up for another powerbomb. Before she can, Bryan rolls them over, transitioning into the LeBell Lock! He doesn't have his hands clasped in front just yet, and Pan can slip out of it, rolling Bryan onto his stomach. She jumps in front of him, arms wrapped around his torso and circling underneath. She's got the hands clasped, but Bryan does his best to fight it off. But in the end, Pan lurches forward, pulling Bryan into a full Peruvian Necktie, and getting the leg around his back. Danielson's legs flail, in desperate hunt of the ropes, but Pandemonium isn't going to let him get anywhere close. In the Necktie, there's only a very tiny hole created just for the neck, and there's no extra room to breathe. Most people don't last very long in this. It's either pass out or save yourself the trouble and tap out. And Danielson may be looking to do the latter, championship be damned. With his history, it's a given that he'll have those pins and needles shooting down his arms, the lights going out sooner, rather than later. His hand is waving in the air….

When there's a commotion in the crowd, and OKADA jumps the barricade?!?

What the hell is Okada doing here?!

The commotion startles Clemons, who sees our intruder strolling to the side of the ring. Okada fixes his incredibly form fitting suit before he climbs up to the apron, and Clemons is trying to get some answers out of him - when inside the ring, Bryan TAPS!! Pan lets go of the hold, her face pressed into the mat, thinking she's won… but there's no music, no announcements. She sits up in confusion and finally sees what happened. Clemons never saw the submission, because for some reason, Okada was arguing with him. Pan stands up, as pissed off as she is confused, and walks up to them. Asking Jake what's going on, trying to get some information out of Okada. But he simply just smiles, a wide, shit eating grin, and tells Pan,

“Turn around, bitch,”

And as Pan turns around, she gets her head taken off by a Busaiku knee! Okada jumps down from the apron as Danielson cradles Pandemonium, and Clemons drops down to make the count! Don't let it end like this!

1… 2… 3!

Fuck.

“Here is your winner, and STILL MPW Stardust Champion, Bryan Danielson!”

Bryan snatches the Stardust Championship out of the hands of our official, and cradles it against his chest. He stands, pushing his hair back, and locking eyes with Okada. They smirk at each other, a silent understanding between the two…

Was this a hit? Did Bryan ask Okada to interfere if things got rough? Or does Okada have some beef with Pan we don't know about? So many questions, and so few answers. But one thing is for sure, Pandemonium's going to hunt for the Rainmaker’s head, and the Dragon remains your Stardust Championship for another week.

And with that, we bid you adieu, and we'll see you next week in Atlanta!

[blowflyfag]

WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT/FEDERATION MAGAZINE: OCTOBER 2011

RAW Q+A

CONSPIRACY OF ONE

Fresh off the biggest summer of his career. R-Truth delivers his most paranoid rant yet, spouting off about his rivalry with John Cena, his first pay-per-view main event, the secret origin of “Little Jimmy,” and his affinity to both Batman and Superman. But be warned: This interview is 100% unfiltered truth.

BY MAX BAKKE PHOTOGRAPHY BY MAGIUS BUGGE

As WWE’s resident conspiracy theorist, what plots and schemes are you trying to expose? 

’m focused on myself–my own conspiracy. This is all about me; about me being held bakfrom the WWE Championship. It’s obvious who’s behind it: It’s John Cena. Why does the man at the top always need the title?!? If that doesn’t tell you there’s a conspiracy, I don’t know what does. 

Outside of WWE, what’s the most interesting conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard? Aliens at Area 51? The JFK assassination?

The Clinton/Lewinsky scandal. Hillary Clinton said there was a “vast right-wing conspiracy” against her husband, and Bill said that he had no relations with that woman. Sounds like a conspiracy to me!

How did you come up with the nickname “Little Jimmy”? Have you always felt such contempt for the younger members of the WWE Universe?

I was talking to Mr. McMahon about those kids, man. Something was boiling up inside of me, and when he said the name “Little Jimmy,” everything just clicked, you know? They’re the ones who sing “What’s Up?” and want me to come out and dance for them, and at the same time, they wear their little John Cena T-shirts. Not R-Truth T-shirts.

We’re just spitballing here, but it seems like things started to go sour for you after the introduction of your new theme music, “Get Crunk.” Were you surprised by the mixed reaction it received from the WWE Universe?

I think “Get Crunk” had a chance to become as hot, if not hotter, than “What’s Up?” It was totally hip-hop and totally heavy metal, but it never had a chance to marinate. The WWE Universe never got a chance to figure it out. But i bet you one thing: I could bring back “Get Crunk” right now, and people would flock to it like flies on doo doo.

Just out of curiosity, do you have beef with Jimmy Uso on SmackDown? He’s not a Little Jimmy. He’s kind of big actually…

I love Jimmy Uso. I hate that he's got the name Little Jimmy, but I got no problems with the guy. The only problem I got with him is his name. I’d rather call him Uso. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t mind taking those guys under my wing. They could be my Jimmy Knockers. 

During your rivalry with John Cena, you really got under The Champ’s skin by messing with his younger followers. What’s it like being inside Cena’s head?

I love it. According to everyone, G.I. Joe was unbeatable. Homeboys tried many times, man. And he was unbreakable. But now I found his weakness and it’s the Little Jimmys. And once I take that title from him, that’ll be it. It’s like giving Superman some kryptonite. John Cena is nothing without that title, so once I get it and this conspiracy comes out, he’ll be chopped down one step at a time. 

WWE Capitol Punishment marked the first time you’d ever headlined a WWE-pay-per-view. Describe the moment…

I work best under pressure. I’ve always done that since I was knee-high to a teacup. I’ve always put the weight on my shoulders, put the pressure on me–on my back, man. I’ve accomplished what some other guys in this world will never accomplish. I went to the highest of heights. I’m in the greatest company in the world. I wrestled the top guy. I headlined the pay-per-view with that top guy. That’s satisfaction to me; that's the truth. 

What did you take away from that match other than a loss?

That match right there just made me hungry, man. Y’known how Pac-Man eats those power pellets, and he gets chomped up? That’s just how I felt. I was ready. I was energized. 

You always go to battle in sneakers and denim., a bit different from the classic boots-and-trunks look. Why?

It’s about throwing down with what you came to grow up with. My look is the rugged, straight–from - the-street, straight-from-the-heart, truth. No costumes. I might have it dazzled up a bit, but you get the real me. I don’t need to put on a pair of tight or a beard to whoop some ass, you know? Would you ask Batman to go out there without his mask and cape? Or ask Superman to leave the cape and the “s” on his chest at home?

Lately, you’ve used the Scissor Kick to put away opponents. It’s a move made famous by Booker T. Did you adopt it as some sort of an homage to the six-time champ?

When I first got in this business I met Booker T, and Booker’s kind words and advice meant a lot to me. I use the move as a sign of respect to him, and I let him know that. When our paths crossed again I was like, “Hey Book, I know it’s your move, but i got to do it.” And he said: “No problem, dog. Because I like seeing you do it.”

Do you still go to him for advice at this point in your career?

Anything Booker can tell me, I soak it in,. He’s been everywhere I’m trying to go. He’s that guy for me to look at and listen to. And Booker’s always in my ear, telling me this, telling me that. Giving me pointers, man. And he’ll be straight-up with me. He straight shoots from the hip.

OK-so level with us. Are you really crazy? Because we’re not so sure anymore…

I wouldn’t say I’m crazy; I got crazy potential. I got some crazy tendencies, you know what I’m saying? But we all got a little crazy. It’s just a matter of when, where and how you choose to let it out. But you’ve got to control it, like a ball of fire. It can make you hot, or it can burn you up.

[peppermintbuttlemon]

PR person here! basically when you sign up for PR you give them lists of things you’ve done and don’t want public. It’s kind of like a ranking of things you’re ok if it gets out and things you’re not. I don’t think things like snow matter to him because he lives in London and everyone there does it. It’s sadly what a lot of stars in London do so it doesn’t exactly matter to them. With joe it seems like he and his team want to portray the hot new guy who’s single. The only thing his team has really struggled to cover was those paparazzi pics. It’s not common for publicists to follow people, but normally when they do it’s almost like “we’re watching you, so don’t pull this kind of stuff”. Or the odd chance it’s because they’re friends, but it seems like since things stopped after the follow it was the first option. Also, his team definitely is watching his tags on every platform. It’s what they’re paid to do! Even if it’s as little as an intern doing it, they’re watching. They have an image that joe himself wants to set for how he looks to the public. They never once tried to cover up the raya leaks or anything like that. So it seems to joe he really cares about being seen as single and ready to fuck (so to speak). I think the rest seems to be that he and his team just simply doesn’t see it as a threat to his image, and sadly they’re right because he’s increasing in popularity and news. They pick the battles and they just don’t seem to think this is one

What’s hotter than being single? 🤷🏻‍♀️

His whole image is attainable boyfriend man. On account of him not being so good looking. Truthfully his curls are doing most of the heavy lifting.

[tsuki-sennin]

Welcome to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo~! Family shenanigans~! Heroism~! Jet planes~! Weird things we discovere about Elle~? New villain~? All this (hopefully) and more in these two installments of Hirogaru Sky PreCure~!

It's been real hot out lately so I've been pretty tired so hopefully a bit of heroism is the cool breeze I need to wake up~!

-Itadakimasu~!

-Breakfast time

-Already taking their mom duties tremendously serious.

-So, Tsubasa-kun... explain to me your thought process here.

-I'm not angry or anything, I'm just... perplexed.

-Waku Waku~!

-Ageha gets it. She may be the Messiah, but she's still a literal gosh-dang baby.

-Sorashinosaurus~!

-Don't worry Elle, soon you'll meet Reptar and the world will never be the same.

-Animalsmals.

-CAPYBARA

-You have been chosen.

-Like Baby Jesus and the Sheep.

-Elephant~!

-It's called a trunk, laddie.

-Blue and white... just like Sora-chan.

-Oh wow.

-They're not just different colored for the sake of it, there's evolutionary reason for it, I'm glad they thought to tell us that.

-Her disciples.

-I have to wonder if she overheard Tsubasa's chats with his bird bros?

-That lion sure is a nice guy.

-If she's anything like Chiffon, she's a demon core in doll form.

-

-"Classes for gifted children-" Noooooooooooooooo hoho, no~! No~! No. No.

-SORA SJHLH

-Calm down there, Heihachi Mishima. At least wait until she can carry conversations.

-She heals the sick...

-Thank you, pastel-colored baby.

-To the petting zoo~!

-This must be our new guy.

-Whoa, a minotaur!

-...Buffa?

-Finally, a worthy opponent... our battle shall be legendary~!

-Okay, so... if Battamonda's a PreCure take on a villainous Kamen Rider, and Kabaton was an homage to Bebop from the Ninja Turtles... does that make this guy

-BNUUUY

-I could just die from all this cuteness

-Fear.

-Whoa, he looks super goddamn cool.

-Minoton, of the Underg Empire!

-"Don't compare me to that dottering old gasbag!"

-OKAY BUSTING OUT A T-REX FOR YOUR FIRST MONSTER THIS GUY'S MY NEW FAVORITE

-Readyyyyy Go~!

-Straight up eats energy.

-No head?

-Ah, the good old tyrannosaurus rex. Only the most noble of our North American ancestors.

-It's easy to forget, but they're not just imposing, but with many of their prey being heavily armored and and surrounded by kin, they'd have to have been very intelligent hunters.

-...I wonder what a dinosaur themed season would be like?

-That poor bnnuy!

-Oh! A whole sentence!

-OH!

-Okay! Goddamn!

-"No true warrior raises a hand to a baby!"

-Y'know Tsubasa, the T-Rex is thought to be an ancestor to many varieties of birds in North America. The closest, of course, being the chicken. Dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets are therefore very fitting.

-Holy goddamn he's so cool.

-Wants to be a hero when she grows up~!

-No need to fear the bnuuy.

-*sniffle* They grow up so fast.

-That was a Saki cameo right there

-Tsubasa-kun! It's at last time~! Your day has finally come~!

-Baby Pushups!

-Incredible balance!

-Meet the grandparents~!

-Oh man Sora... ready to meet the in-laws?

-The airport~! The airport~!

-That was a great episode right there.

-Welcome to the airport~!

-There is so much autism stored inside that bird.

-Do it.

-Flying is a matter of making wind and riding!

-JETTO NINJIN

-An intellectual rival has appeared!

-Lots and lotsa planes.

-"Wow, these planes are toys."

-...well, with a name like that, you seem predestined to like planes.

-Kinda like me (Justin) with superheroes.

-Oh!

-Okay, he was just "Tsubasa of the Puni Bird Tribe" before, eh?

-...y'know I'd be a little more concerned about his legal status, but Sora goes to school just fine.

-Coooooooool~!

-Ohhhh, left your pops out to dry, eh? That's not good, is it?

-No need to worry~!

-"Please come to the information desk at once, my."

-JETTO NINJIN!

-Minoton buys his clothes from the Joe Fixit collection.

-I see Mashiro's also taken a shine to the little lady.

-"Well said, my boy~!"

-Let's meet our parents once more~!

-PreCure-sama, PreCure-sama~!

-He's broiling like an angus beef patty.

-The wind~!

-Ranborg~!

-"Battle me, Pretty Cure. There's no chance for you to flee again."

-Oh, Tsubasa takin' the lead today!

-Good on ya lad.

-Battle Time.

-Oh, that bird hit the windshield.

-Oh my god it's the infinity symbol, he is autistic!

-I win!

-I absolutely love Wing's tactical side being so colored by his aviation knowledge.

-Prism used Bubble Beam!

-Ride the wind, boy!

-Extra shiny yellow!

-Off we fly!

-Meet the missus's parents.

-Sora's keeping that shirt in reserve.

-I suppose a whole episode with Mr. and Mrs. Nijigaoka isn't happening

-PEACH

-You seriously dodged a bullet Love, there was a Jet Ninjin earlier.

-...though in fairness, I think you'd absolutely vibe to this ED, it reminds me a lot of You Make Me Happy, one of my favorites from this franchise.

-Next episode?

-Oh! Okay, the Mirror Pad is a pocket dimension apparently. That's frightening.

-And Elle's the God of this world.

-Anyhoo, see you next time~!

[jdgo51]

DAILY DEVOTIONAL FOR MAY 24, 2023

No Prestige Needed

By Geo PicKell (North Dakota, USA)

READ 1 SAMUEL 17:41-50

"When the Philistine looked David over, he sneered at David because he was just a boy."

1 SAMUEL 17:42 (CEB)

"When I meet new people, they are rarely impressed when I tell them that I work as a cleaning lady in a nursing home. Evidently, making beds and mopping floors doesn’t sound like an exciting mission field for Christ. Nevertheless, manual labor is what God has called me to do. Over the years I have come to understand three important things: my workplace is filled with lonely people, lonely people love talking to the janitor, and proclaiming the power of Christ does not require an elevated platform.

In 1 Samuel, we learn that David was a shepherd. Because David’s job wasn’t prestigious and he was young and inexperienced, Goliath had nothing but disdain for him. However, once on the battlefield, the young man who loved his lambs was able to knock out the giant with a single, well-aimed stone. David’s story teaches us that no matter who we are or what we do, we should not disregard the importance of God’s calling for us." All of us has a calling and we should be present for it. During your work life, your field is there to be of service. After retirement, God finds other things for you to do. Do everything with your best effort and bring honor to God.

TODAY'S PRAYER

"Dear heavenly Father, thank you for calling us to serve you. When we feel timid, help us feel your hand guiding us, empowering us to battle giants and succeed in your purposes. Fill us with your Spirit, and enable us to bring glory to you." Amen.

1 Samuel 17:41-50

"'41 The Philistine got closer and closer to David, and his shield-bearer was in front of him. 42 When the Philistine looked David over, he sneered at David because he was just a boy; reddish brown and good-looking. 43 The Philistine asked David, “Am I some sort of dog that you come at me with sticks?” And he cursed David by his gods. 44 “Come here,” he said to David, “and I’ll feed your flesh to the wild birds and the wild animals!” 45 But David told the Philistine, “You are coming against me with sword, spear, and scimitar, but I come against you in the name of the LORD of heavenly forces, the God of Israel’s army, the one you’ve insulted. 46 Today the LORD will hand you over to me. I will strike you down and cut off your head! Today I will feed your dead body and the dead bodies of the entire Philistine camp to the wild birds and the wild animals. Then the whole world will know that there is a God on Israel’s side. 47 And all those gathered here will know that the LORD doesn’t save by means of sword and spear. The LORD owns this war, and he will hand all of you over to us.” 48 The Philistine got up and moved closer to attack David, and David ran quickly to the front line to face him. 49 David put his hand in his bag and took out a stone. He slung it, and it hit the Philistine on his forehead. The stone penetrated his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground. 50 And that’s how David triumphed over the Philistine with just a sling and a stone, striking the Philistine down and killing him—and David didn’t even have a sword! "' Even with a single stone, David took down the enemy. With a single word or gesture we can transform a life. Be there, be ready and give it you all. Bless those who are in need and those who are not sure of their future. Joe